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Chapter 25
Alexi
My jaw tightens as my hand remains firmly planted on her shoulder, pinning her in place. She doesn’t push me off or attempt to take a step back, instead staying stock still before me, looking up into my eyes with a hint of uncertainty flashing in her pink eyes.
She consumed my thoughts the entire time we were gone, every second filled with her. From her heart-warming smile, to the sound of her laughter, right down to the pain that flashed in her eyes before we left; not for herself, but for us, and what killing her would do to us. That thought hasn’t stopped running through my mind.
Chiseling away at my cold heart, it left me exposed when Malik admitted to Hades that she’s our destiny, our sealed soul. My gut twisted with pain as I realized the two of them got to say that with certainty, yet I’m not tethered to her at all. Not even a little.
I’ve been an asshole. A huge one, and as much as my emotions are twisted up in knots, I know I need to make a change, but admitting that out loud or figuring out what it entails is beyond my mental capacity right now.
Especially since I walked through the front door to find the very woman consuming my thoughts, dancing and singing along to a song on the music system in nothing but my hoodie.
My. Fucking. Hoodie.
I can still hear the retreating footsteps of Talon and Malik, and I don’t move an inch until I hear the click of both of their bedroom doors close. Not that it relaxes my shoulders or allows me to release the breath I’m holding. If anything, it only winds me up tighter.
My grip on her shoulder tightens for a moment as I watch her eyelashes flutter before she looks back up at me, eyes locked on mine as she waits patiently for me to figure things out.
She clears her throat, looking away for a second before turning her attention back to me as she rolls her shoulders back. “I’m sorry, Alexi,” she mutters, lifting her arms slightly at her side. “I didn’t know it was yours, otherwise I wouldn’t have put it on,” she rambles, uncertainty flashing across her face as she speaks. “I’ll change it now, I just didn’t want to look at the mark on my arm for another second, and it was—”
Her words stop as my mouth crashes into hers, my hand moving to her chin to hold her head in place as my other moves instinctively to her waist, pulling her tight against my body. Our mouths mold together so fucking perfectly, her sweet, soft lips turning me to mush as she kisses me back after a moment’s pause.
I feel her fingers wrap around my neck as her lips claim me as much as mine claim her. It’s intoxicating, it’s world-shattering, it’s fucking everything. Yet it’s only a kiss. My mind is ready to explode and my cock stands at full-mast as need swarms through me like I’ve never felt before.
It’s too much.
Moving my hand from her chin to her hair, I twist the soft white strands around my fist before tugging her head back, separating our mouths as I struggle to fucking breathe. She blinks up at me in a daze, her pupils blown as wide as mine likely are as I take a step back, releasing my hold on her as I rake my hands through my hair.
“I need air,” I rasp, the words barely more than a whisper, but I don’t stick around to see if she hears them as I practically sprint to the glass doors.
Opening the bi-folding doors just enough for me to slip through and rush out into the night air, I allow the soft breeze to sweep over my skin and gulp back a heavy breath. Stumbling to the center of the perfectly-cut lawn, I come to a stop with my hands on my hips and my gaze lowered to the ground.
I need a second to think, to regroup, because my body, mind, and soul aren’t aligned. Or maybe my soul and body are, it’s just my mind fucking with it all. My emotions are heightened, my need for her outweighing the negatives I’ve always placed between us.
Fuck.
I fall to my haunches, head resting in my hands as my fingers grip the ends of my hair tightly. How the fuck am I supposed to explain my thoughts, my feelings, my bullshit, if I can’t even form them properly in my own head?
I’m the asshole of the group, always have been, always will be, and if I’m honest about it, that’s exactly how I like it. I don’t need people thinking I’m approachable or open to any kind of relationship with them. I have my inner circle already, no one else is required.
Except her.
I need her more than anyone else.
At the mere thought of her in my mind, admitting the truth I’ve kept under lock and key, I feel her presence before me, followed moments later by the feel of her fingers running through my hair between my hands.
I don’t lift my head, not ready to face her, but it doesn’t stop her from releasing a sigh and speaking anyway. “I’m always going to be here, Alexi. No matter what. Even when you hate me, I'm still going to be here. I’m not going anywhere. Being here with the three of you is who I am, who I’m meant to be, who I’ll always be, where I’m supposed to be.”
Her voice is soft, angelic, and melting my cold demeanor more and more. How am I ever meant to do anything but succumb to her?
Moving my hands from my hair, Harmonia continues to run her fingers through the strands as I look up at her through my lashes. There’s a soft smile on her lips, which bewilders me. Even when I push her away she remains here, unwavering and supportive.
Maybe it’s not that she deserves to break down my walls, but more that I’m undeserving of her doing so. One thing is for sure, I need to clarify something right now.
“I don’t hate you, Harmonia. I think the fact that I don’t hate you, despite everything in our past that has led to this point, is what I hate the most.”
A hint of understanding washes over her face as she runs her hand from my hair, down my face, and cups my cheek. My chest swells, my body tingling from head to toe as I watch the night breeze ruffle her hair slightly, the moonlight shining down on her, and casting her in the most perfect light. Seeing her like this, vulnerable, wearing her heart on her sleeve, just her, has my mouth moving again.
