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“I suppose I never found the right person, or maybe I was waiting for something to happen. I always thought there was more time. You never think to yourself that life is going to change so drastically,” I said.
Volkan nodded, as though he understood. I then looked at him and hoped for open candor. “Volkan, there’s one thing I’ve noticed that you haven’t told me, and that’s exactly what kind of monster Gonshu is.”
“You will have to see that for yourself. Words cannot do him justice.”
“But how am I supposed to fight something I have no idea about?”
“You will know him soon enough,” Volkan said, and that was all he was prepared to say on the matter. I didn’t like how vague he was being, but one thing I had learned about Volkan was that, if he was unwilling to talk about a subject, then he would remain tight-lipped and I might as well have tried to draw blood from a stone. I would have to look elsewhere for answers.
One night after training, I went to fetch my supper. I had been given more freedom since undertaking training with Volkan, and I did appreciate this. My thoughts always turned to the shrine, but I resisted the temptation to go and visit it. I had noticed that there were always a few guards nearby, and I didn’t think it would do me any good to head to the shrine anyway. What was I going to do, crash into the door again? Until I learned how to use this power inside me, and that was assuming I did indeed have some power, I wasn’t going to be able to make use of the shrine. Returning there would only anger Axanar and I would be stripped of the freedoms I had been given. To escape, I needed to earn their trust. Speaking of Axanar, I had not seen him since I had struck him. I didn’t know whether he was purposefully avoiding me or whether he saw this as some kind of punishment. His ego was so vast that I could well imagine him believing that being deprived of his presence was a detriment to life.
As I went to collect my meal, I noticed that Tania was the one serving me. I hadn’t seen her since the day in the shrine, and when our eyes met, she looked away. Guilt entered my heart.
“I’m sorry for what happened,” I whispered.
“Do not speak to me,” she said.
“Please… I didn’t mean anything by it. I just… can you come and find me when you’ve finished here? I’d like to speak to you.”
I held her gaze until she nodded.
*
I was sitting by myself on a chair that had been carved from wood. A fire blazed in the early evening, the heat from the flames fighting against the chill of the night. The stars overhead glittered like jewels, and now that I had gotten used to living here, I allowed myself the small comfort of enjoying this view of the night sky. It wasn’t as calming as the one I had at home, but its beauty was unique, and it was incredible to gaze upon the different constellations.
I had finished my meal. Other lions were gathered together. I could overhear snippets of their conversations, and it reminded me of the nights I used to spend with my own pride. I found my eyes welling up with sorrow as I thought about them, knowing that I likely would never have those nights again. Some of the lions did speak to me, but most of them kept their distance, perhaps because they were unsure how Axanar felt about me.
But Tania did come by eventually, and I was glad for this.
“You wanted to speak to me?” she asked.
I looked up at her as she arrived, and wiped my eyes immediately.
“You’ve been crying,” she said. “Why?”
I thought she deserved the truth. “I was thinking about the nights like this that I have lost, the times with my pride that I’m never going to experience again.”
She nodded. There was an empty seat near me, which she took. She had a plate of food herself and nibbled it.
I took a deep breath before I spoke. “I’m really sorry about what happened. I know you were only curious and in your way, you were trying to help. I didn’t intend to take advantage of you. I just… I saw a way that I could be free, and I thought I should try. All I want is to get back to my parents. I didn’t think that you would be punished.”
She offered a wry smile. “It’s my own fault really. I knew what Axanar would do if he found out, but I let myself go along with it anyway because I was curious. I wanted to see whether it would really happen. And, well, I suppose I wanted to see whether I could go to another world to.”
“You wanted to walk with me?” I asked.
Tania nodded. “You don’t know what it’s like, to read about all these wondrous stories and to never live one yourself. For so much of my life, I’ve been waiting for something to happen to me and then you come along… Axanar was supposed to tell me when this happened, but I suppose he deemed it better to keep you a secret. I got swept up in the emotion. I hoped that you would be able to show me a different world.”
“But why? The one you have seems incredible.”
“Because we are used to it. There are only stories about the people who left for different worlds, not about the different worlds they visited. We don’t know what’s out there, what they found. You are the only one to have returned.”
“Well, I’m sorry that I don’t have anything interesting to tell you.”
Tania’s eyes gleamed with excitement. “Everything you tell me is exciting Kara. I hoped that I would be able to walk in your world alongside you. To see another sky, just for a moment… oh that would make me so happy.”
I hadn’t realized how much it meant to Tania, but then again, I hadn’t really tried to put myself in their shoes. I had been so concerned with my own trauma and what it meant for me to arrive in this place that I hadn’t thought about what it meant for them to have a stranger in their midst.
“Well then, if I ever do work out how to walk between worlds, I’ll be sure to take you with me.”
