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When he pulled back and touched her cheek, Ellie managed to step away. She was excited to see him, and she knew she never wanted to let him go, ever again. There was still a lot they had to talk about, though.
She led him out to her car, and it hurt her to see the way he lowered his eyes and tried to avoid her gaze. It reminded her of a dog that had been kicked. All she wanted was to take his pain away, but she was so wary of causing hurt to herself. Gerri had made it sound like once they came together, everything would be fine, but the longer she spent in Mason’s presence, the more complicated her thoughts became.
They sat in silence in the car for a few seconds, Ellie staring out the windshield at the bright morning. Absent-mindedly, she put the key in the ignition and started the car.
“Where to?” she asked softly.
“I need a new phone,” Mason answered. “If you could just drive me to an electronics store …”
“Fine,” she said, her voice flat. Ellie pulled the car out of the lot and headed to the mall. She had so many questions for him, but she wasn’t brave enough to start asking them.
The silence between them deepened, and it grew so thick that it seemed both of them were afraid to disturb it. Ellie didn’t even speak when they pulled up at the store. She just pointed vaguely out the window and watched Mason get out and go inside.
While he was gone, Ellie pulled out her Kindle and tried to read, but she was too distracted. Now that Mason wasn’t sitting beside her, she found her mind teeming with questions that demanded answers.
What’s going to happen between us?
Even though there were so many questions, this was the only one that mattered. The moment that she’d seen him at the station, everything had seemed so clear. Just holding him comforted her as if being in his arms was all she needed to feel whole.
When she saw him hurrying from the store, Ellie prepared herself to ask the hard questions. When he got in the car, though, the words vanished again.
“Where to?” she asked, wondering if those were the only words in the English language she was capable of speaking.
Mason gave her the name of a hotel, and she headed out onto the road without comment. She wanted to know why he’d been arrested and what happened after he’d sent the message.
She wanted to tell him that she wished she’d responded to it. Maybe then, he would have woken up beside her, not in a jail cell.
Ellie held back. Words crashed around in her mind, a cacophony of chaos. She started to wonder why he wasn’t talking to her.
Maybe, I’ve completely fucked up, and I shouldn’t be here now. Maybe he didn’t want to see me right now. Or at all.
They pulled up in front of the hotel, and Ellie stared straight ahead. Mason opened the door but didn’t get out.
“Will you come up, Ellie?” he asked. She turned to look at him, her eyes wide. When she saw that his expression was wrung with anxiety, her heart went out to him.
“I need to shower and change,” he said. “But if this is my only chance to see you, then I don’t mind staying like this. I just … can we talk?”
He held her gaze, even though she could tell he was nervous. Ellie nodded, turning off the car so she could get out and give the keys to the valet.
She followed him up to his suite and stood in the middle of the room, her arms wrapped around herself. Mason headed for the shower, and Ellie sat on the sofa, her mind racing. She still had no idea how to say what she wanted to say.
Before she was ready, Mason came out of the bathroom, well dressed and once again looking … and smelling … like a million bucks. She loved the way his night-dark hair fell across his forehead and the way his brown eyes glinted amber in the low light.
Maybe, I just love him.
“Would you like to go to dinner?” he asked. “I really need to talk to you.”
She nodded. “Can we stay here and order room service? I just … I don’t want to deal with a restaurant right now.”
“Of course,” Mason said, picking up the phone. They exchanged a few words while he ordered the food, but Ellie couldn’t focus on what she wanted to eat.
Mason.
Shut up.
While they waited for the food, Mason told her about his fight with the rhino and his pub crawl along the streets of Scaramouche. Ellie laughed at first, but the conversation swiftly turned serious.
“Why didn’t you message me back, Ellie?” Mason asked. His eyes were full of naked emotion, a raw need. She felt awful for ignoring him, but at the time, she hadn’t known there was so much pain in his heart.
