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I didn’t register to Francis at all and yet I’d know him anywhere.
I’d have to remember him until the day I died, but he didn’t even see me.
I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
It all came up.
Fast andviolent.
CHAPTER
12
WE HAD BEENdrinking all night. It was so late. It wasn’t suspicious that I vomited. Not glamorous, but not unheard-of behavior for a bride at her bachelorette party. Chloe and Calliope insisted that we leave right away, so we did, but I knew we would have been escorted out anyway within seconds.
They never wanted the girls to be sick at the parties.
Gale didn’t say anything back in the car. Whatever her plan was, it had been derailed by my outburst. And soon the wedding would be upon us. I was truly afraid of what Gale Wallace-Leicester might do. She was clearly very serious and I needed to stay ahead of it, but I was failing thus far. I should have started planning an attack of my own. After that display on East Eighty-First Street, she would deserve it.
But I couldn’t. I wastooclose. I’d stay on the defensive for now.
I wasn’t my mother.
I could play defense for one more week. Survival mode. I knew it well.
One more week and I’d be married and Gale wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.
•••
IN THE WEEKleading up to our wedding, I noticed Collin’s mood took a noticeable dive. He seemed different. Changed. Perhaps it was the clinical depression rearing its ugly head, but he had the medication to combat it, I assumed. Or worse, he was getting cold feet. Did Gale get in his ear under the cover of night? I was keeping close watch on him, but she was clever. No. That wasn’t it. She couldn’t have made any lasting impact, not without making sure I knew that she was behind it. Curse that beast, she was rattling me. I’d been thrown off my A game since the bachelorette party despite my best efforts. I needed to calm down but take extra precautions. So I decided to kick it up a notch at home, as far as domesticities went, going so far as to cook for him myself, instead of ordering in or making reservations, and I performed four nights in a row of enthusiastic fellatio. Still, he was rather vacant, even as he came. It made me anxious. Wifely duties were not checking the box, so I needed to dig deeper.
“You can talk to me, you know.” I snuggled up next to Collin after a quick brush of my teeth and an Altoid. “I’m here for you. Always.”
“I know. I’m okay. There’s just been a lot going on.”
Vague, but not altogether unexpected. We hadn’t been the type of couple to reallyget in there, so to speak, emotionally. He seemed fine with that. Obviously, I was, too, but I wouldn’t stand for this palpable distance. Not when there was so much on the line. Collin always maintained the appearance of having it all together, including me, but this retreat from my touch made me less confident. I began acting like the type of girl I loathed.
“I just wish you would tell me what’s on your mind, baby. Whatare you thinking?” I asked him. Seriously,shoot me, but I was going to be with Collin for the long haul. I’d have to do plenty of things I didn’t feel like doing. It was what I signed up for. That was the plan. The rewards would be worth it. Mother would neverreallytalk to a man about his feelings. So I would.
“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “Something has been on my mind.”
“Go on,” I prodded.
“Gale mentioned something about your bachelorette party getting a little weird,” he said, taking my literal breath away. I had to tread very carefully.
“Oh? What did she say?”
“She seemed concerned about your behavior.”
“Gale was concerned aboutmybehavior?” It took everything I had not to scream. A pathetic power move from Gale. Our game was supposed to be between us. To flat-out tattle to Collin was beneath her.
She was playing dirty.
“Look, I know you don’t really like her and that this maid of honor thing was a goodwill effort for me. Which I appreciate. But she said you guys went somewhere and that you already seemed... familiar with it?”
This was a conundrum. Had she told him the truth about me, or whatever she thought the truth was? What did he know? What did she know? I didn’t want to offer any new information. I had to be very,verycareful.
“Okay...” I trailed off, waiting for him to pick up the conversation. I needed to keep him on my side. Every moment mattered. Every word. Collin sighed loudly again. He was trying to find the right way to say whatever it was. Driving me crazy.
