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“Mysterious whereabouts. Hmm. Sounds about right.”
“Oh yeah?” Dave was amused. He looked too hot. Too delicious. His dark hair slicked back for the occasion, a regular wolf of Wall Street up to no good, practically licking his chops as he grinned at me and my décolletage. “What have you heard?” I’d heard too much. Bad things that drew me to him, because deep down I was a bad person, too. I had to fight it.
“I know all about your contribution to my bachelorette celebration.”
“What?” He looked genuinely confused. I refused to believe him. I had to. For so many reasons, largely because this information was what would keep me away from him. I wanted no part of anyone who went to the house on East Eighty-First Street willingly.
“You know what I’m talking about. Don’t play this game with me.”
“I think you’re probably too smart for me to play games with, no matter what Gale says about you.” He was trying to distract me with chatter about Gale. Smart, but I was smarter.
“I’m sure she has plenty to say about me. None of which I care to hear.”
“I wouldn’t stress about it. She’s obsessed with Collin. We all know it. It’s been that way forever. Kinda sad. Gale’s all right. Just stuck.”
“Areyouall right?”
“Probably not.” He grinned, getting closer to my ear once again. His beard brushed against my shoulder. It was impossibly soft. His crotch grazed my thigh. A semi lurked, not surprising. “But neither are you, hmm?”
He saw me. The person I tried so much to hide. It was hot and hideous. I didn’t want to be seen unless I allowed it, which I never did, but Dave wasn’t waiting for permission. He was taking what he wanted, just like I did. A kindred spirit of the most menacing kind, akin to taking a shot. Hurts a little at first, in a fun way. A light buzz almost immediately appears. You want it again; you’re having a good time; it feels like living on the edge. Too much, though, and it could all go dark. Very dark. A blackout.
“Careful,” I warned. I couldn’t go down that road no matter how much fun it looked.
“Being all right is boring. You’re far from boring,” he said.
“You don’t know anything about me,” I scoffed, jerking away from him, afraid he knew everything about me, could smell it on me. Collin was watching. So was Gale. Haven, too. Mother would have been watching as well. Gleefully, I’m sure. Dave jerked me back into his body. I allowed it so I could enjoy the last few seconds. The song had to be almost over, and after our dance I never wanted to speak to him again.
It wouldn’t be worth it. Would it?
“I know you broke into Gale’s apartment,” Dave said.
“Who cares? Gale knows, too. Did you talk to her about it?”
“Nah. None of my business. I didn’t even put two and two together until it came to me where I’d seen you before. Tagged in all of Collin Case’s photos. A pretty quick engagement, no?”
“Just under a year is perfectly civilized for normal people who pursue monogamous relationships,” I said, knowing neither of us were particularly normal. “Collin and I knew what we wanted. We’re adults.”
“But you can’treallyget to know a person in that short amount of time.”
He dipped me next and I really went for it. Might as well. I threw my head back so dramatically that we received a smattering of applause for our performance. Dave whipped me back upright and we locked eyes again.
Okay, this had to end. I saw Haven gnawing on the straw of her diet G&T, watching us intently, probably frothing at the mouth at the mere glimmer of an affair, which would result in a swift kick of my ass right out the Case family doors if she had her way. I couldn’t give her the satisfaction.
I looked again for Collin. He was having a stiff drink at the bar. I’d clearly driven him to it, so I needed to get out of there and make amends with a cheeky public caress at the front of his trousers.
“Isn’t that part of the fun of marriage? That’s when you get to know each other. When you’rereallyin it,” I challenged Dave. “And you either make it or you don’t.”
“Isn’t that playing with fire?”
“Maybe. But I’m not afraid of getting burned.”
The song ended on my lie, and I left Dave on the dance floor.
Of course I was afraid of getting burned in my marriage to Collin. Sure, the prenup was favorable to the untrained eye, but it wouldn’t mean hanging up my hat for good, which is all I wanted to do. Ihadto stay with Collin. Iwantedto stay with Collin. If I played by the rules, there wouldn’t be any problems, beyond extreme boredom, which was somewhat of an Achilles’ heel of mine. I could see myself struggling with the rules. Gale provoking me, seemingly forever a fixture in my marriage unless I did something about it. A grim and yet somehow gripping prospect. Dave. Desiring a full-blown dick-down courtesy of the hottest man I may have ever laid eyes on. A disaster waiting to happen if I wasn’t careful. Even Syl. Perhaps I was cut out for a female friendship after all, I just hadn’t found the rightwoman to convince me until her. But what if she couldn’t be trusted? The temptations were firing from all angles, but I had told myself that after Collin and I were married, my rabble-rousing would have to come to a close. Stay the course. Be a good wife. Reap all the benefits. Lonely and boring, but safe, which was the whole point of the ruse anyway.
God. Mother would definitely belaughingif she could see me now. I was so irritated with myself for thinking of her at all on my wedding day. The opposite of my North Star. I would not go south like her. I needed to distract myself from such a depressing state of mind, but Collin was taking shots with his friends, already sloppy, singing along to Neil Diamond. He’d be of little comfort. I really wanted to talk to Syl. I didn’t know what I could reasonably tell her, but her presence could be soothing. I scanned the room for my friend, noticing that Gale was still watching me. Observing me with a half smile and a half-drunk glass of champagne in her hand. Sinister energy as per usual. Did she know I was searching for Syl? Did she think I was looking for her? None of it mattered because Syl had already left.
I was on my own. As always.
