Page 109 of Tease Me


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When I did, I dreamed.

I opened the door to my apartment and waited for a kid to roll their heavy suitcase past me. They were about seven years old and looked exactly as I had at that age. Including the expression on her face.

"Do I have to go? I'm going to miss Josie's sleepover."

"You want to spend time with your dad, don't you?" I asked.

She gave a sullen shrug of her shoulders. "I suppose so, but…"

"It's his turn," I said. "You always have a good time when you hang out with him. In a couple of days, you won't want to come back here." That was my biggest fear. That she would insist on staying with him and not spending time with me.

"Not unless he lets me have a puppy," she said. "Then I'd have to stay and look after the puppy."

So young and yet so willing and able to manipulate her parents. We both knew her father wasn't getting a puppy any more than I was. Not even to win her favor. That wouldn't stop her from trying though. She was determined and persistent, just like me.

Then the dream shifted and I was the little girl rolling her suitcase and asking for a puppy. I don't know how many times I asked, but they never got one, neither of them. At some point, I decided it was because they didn't love me. I mean, if they loved me they would do whatever it took to make me happy, right?

Yeah, that was seven year old logic for you.

I trudged out to the car where my father was waiting, sour about the puppy and missing my friend's birthday party. Just because my parents didn't like each other anymore.

Like always, I half expected my father to tell me to go back inside. That he didn't want to spend time with me. I felt the exact same way when I went back to live with my mother. What would I do if one day neither of them wanted me? Where would I go?

I started to freak out inside and woke with tears pouring down my face.

Where was I? Oh, a plane to Sydney. The kid in my dream, all of that was a long time ago. Gone but evidently not forgotten. Or maybe dredged back up again by the present.

Edith was looking at me with concern. "You were muttering in your sleep. It sounded intense."

I wiped my cheeks. "I'm okay. It was just a nightmare." I glanced across the aisle where Roman sat with Ripley and one of the other tour staff. We took up most of the plane, but had to split up some of us just to fit us all. I'd opted to sit away, so other people didn't have to.

Roman was looking at me with the same expression as Edith. "Are you good?" he mouthed.

I nodded and smiled my gratitude. "I'm fine," I mouthed back. Was I? It was just a dream. I remembered missing my friend's party but that was the week my father took me, my brother and sister, away to the beach. He introduced us to a woman who was now our stepmother. She and I got along really well from the start. In the end, that was one of the most fun weeks of my life. I think I annoyed the crap out of my mother by talking about it for at least three days after I went back to her.

Now I realized, she was just scared I wouldn't want to see her anymore.

In retrospect, seven-year-old me probably knew that and milked it for all it was worth. I made a note to apologize to both of my parents when I saw them again. Life was tricky enough without having a bratty kid. To be fair, I'm pretty sure my brother and sister were just as bad as me.

"I should give you some book recommendations," Edith was saying. "I know a few that will give you really good dreams." She winked.

I laughed. "I'm starting to think it's true what they say."

"It's always the innocent looking ones," she finished for me. She grinned. "It's true. Which is why I know you'd appreciate them."

No one had ever suggested I was innocent looking before, but I liked the implication. It was true. Under the professional, efficient, blah, blah, blah, was a woman with feelings and desires like everyone else. I just tried to keep them hidden. Maybe I wasn't as successful as I thought I was. If a complete stranger like Edith could see right through me, then maybe other people could too. Or maybe she was just good at reading people.

Without another word, I pulled out a notepad and a pen and handed it to her.

She gave me a wicked smile and started to write down titles of books that sounded… Interesting.

"If you like rock stars, I suggest you start with Pitch by Maggie Alabaster and Jo Bradley. It's smoking hot."

I wasn't sure if I needed any more hot rock stars, but I smiled and excepted the notepad when she handed it back.

"Thank you, I'll check it out," I promised.

"You're traveling with the tour, aren't you?" she asked. "One of the aircrew mentioned the Rock Dragons. I like them, they're groovy."

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