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“I’ll think of a way to thank them for their hospitality,” I decided to reach out an olive branch.
“I think you cleaning up their rooms twice a week would be thanking those stinking boys enough.”
Right. The contract had been mainly about the arrangements of a housekeeping job Cary had assigned me to do. Beggars couldn’t be choosers, and since I still hadn’t found a job here, I’d agreed. Cooking was no hardship. Cleaning the house, though, was something else. Until now, they’d been pretty standard messes. Leaving clothes on the floor as if they’d poofed out of them, not replacing toilet rolls, or leaving dirty dishes in the sink.
I scrunched my nose and smiled at Cary. “Anything in particular I should avoid?”
“Uh…” Cary pursed his lower lip, wondering where to begin, and started ticking off, “Don’t open the medicine cabinet, leave their night stand closed, don’t look under their beds.”
“Okay, okay, I think I know where you’re going with this.” I help up a hand and giggled, murmuring, “Perverts.”
Cary bent his head back, laughing outrageously hard for a restaurant this fancy. “Yes, we are. We Volts are perverts.” He turned to my mother, “Isn’t that right, Stella, sweetheart?”
Her cheeks pinked.
Ew. It was enough to see them make out. Whatever happened between their sheets should stay there.
“But I warn you, if you’re afraid of snakes, please don’t go into Ares’ room.”
“Okay, gross. Now you went and crossed the line, Mr. Volt.” I pulled up my lips, crunching my nose in disgust. He was a rockstar, but for Crist’s sake, why did he talk about his son’s genitals like that—
“Hey, who’s the pervert now? I wasn’t talking about his dick. ”
“Oh,” I shyly sat back against my chair while Mom elbowed him in the ribs, “Cary!”
“What, woman? Can’t I say dick anymore?”
“You can,” I assured him. “I’m not offended.” I looked over at the table next to us. “But they might be.”
He waved them off like they weren’t important. “Anyway, it wasn’t an innuendo.”
“Okay, so if you’re not talking about his… you know…”
“Dick,” Cary filled in. “Go on, say it. Di-ck.”
My cheeks heated when Cary waved his hand and gestured to go on. I looked at Mom, who’s eyes widened with a reaction that couldn’t mean anything but “awkward”.
I wanted to respond by saying “Take that, mother, for marrying the sweetest, dirtiest son of bitch guitarist” but, well, I might just get used to it.
“D-dick.” I cringed in front of Mom and cleared my throat.
“Atta, girl.” Cary smiled and slammed his hand onto the table. “Dita, honey, when you want to survive my boys, there’s one thing you need to know.”
I swallowed. “Which is?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way. I have your well-being in my best interest.” He settled one elbow onto the table while his free hand went to my mom’s thigh and leaned in. “But don’t let your guard down like that and expect them to not eat you alive.”
Another way to say: don’t be a prude.
I harrumphed, fell against my chair, and crossed my arms.
“One in particular,” he warned.
“Yeah, I get it.” I gulped, faking braveness. Fucking Ares.
“A-and the snake?”
Cary snorted. “He’s the least of your worries.”
