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“Probably?” I cut him off, and stretched my gaze over the perfectly trimmed backyard, the parallel ripples in the pool, the warmth the wind picked up through the apple trees in the back. A beautiful, serene scenery in enmity with the broken soul I was.
“I don’t. I just don’t. I’m aware.”
“Are you?” My voice hard and cutting, Ares winced. “If this is what you wanted—”
“I didn’t!” Restless eyes pleaded.
I sniffed haughtily. What a way to direct yourself into my loveless bones.
“You shut me out, trying to keep me from infiltrating into your personal life. That’s okay. I would’ve stayed clear of you if you had trouble having me around,” I explained calmly. “But you’ve called me names, threatened me multiple times, and used my body, my entity, to equalize—no, to overshadow— your dad’s antics while polishing me into your shiny little whore.”
His mouth dropped open. “What? You’re not—” His dark brows drew angrily together. “Don’t call yourself that!”
“That’s what you made me out to be!” I yelled, losing my temper. I shot out of the swing to get away from him. “What did I have to do with all of this, anyway?”
“Nothing! Dita— Fuck, don’t go!” He stood upright and blocked me, towering over me in his characterized, intimidating way. He kept me right in front of him, his hand clasped around the back of my neck to force me to hear him out. “You are all I want, Dita. Just you. I’ll show you if you give me a chance.”
“I gave you that chance when I told you what had happened to me. When I bared myself to you. When I told you the exact reason trusting people is debatable. And still… still I let you in.”
Let you use my body. Let you zip open my chest and drape it with a blanket of the sweet promise of tangible devotion.
Ares was quiet while his chest heaved. I splayed my palm over his heart, feeling the organ steadily drum against it. Thinking I’d known it, what it had felt for me, tears welled up. “It was more than you deserved.”
His jaw flexed. His eyes darkened, a sense of false accusation glazing over them. “I’m not like those women who pushed you.”
“That’s right. You’re not.” I shook my head, strengthening myself against the biting grip of his fingers in my nape. “You’re worse.”
He opened his mouth. But I’d had enough of this. Ares had risen from the ashes I thought I’d seen ignite in his eyes whenever we were together. It had been too easy to get burned.
I knew Mom was still waiting in the car, and that I wasn’t going to stay in that house with two identical faces that reminded me of the gaping hole in my chest. The tears were threatening to spill. Even if Ares hated Cary and I had been somewhat prejudiced, I was ready to let my stepdad’s wings cast over me like a safety cloak.
“Dita,” Ares growled through his teeth.
I wriggled out Ares’ grasp and stumbled back. He followed suit, stepping towards me and reaching out to steady me.
“I’m done.” I slapped his arm away. I didn’t want him to touch me. I didn’t want to see the silver flame in his eyes die. I just needed to be alone.
“D, please,” his voices choked.
Through a blinding curtain of tears, I still saw the pained expression on his face. He better be hurt, too.
“Don’t come after me,” I warned him with a trembling whisper on my lips.
I fled inside, where Cary clearly heard our conversation. His brows sagged into despair.
“He never says please,” Cary joked with a lopsided smile that didn’t reach his eyes, cradling me into a hug.
“Can I stay with you and Mom tonight?”
He kissed the top of my head, a gesture I cherished now that he exercised the fatherly task over me. “Of course, honey. Let me grab your bags and get you home.”
Mom lunged out of the car when she saw us with my bags. She’d been patient enough, waiting for her husband to come back outside. Seeing me at the verge of crying, that was an entirely different thing. I ignored her outstretched arms and questioning glare, only able to keep my tears at bay as long as they could give me the space to salvage the scars over my heart.
“Please, don’t ask,” I crawled onto the passenger side as Cary held the door open.
Next, he filled the trunk with my stuff and told Mom to take me home, to not ask too many questions and ‘take care of my little girl’.
My little girl.
