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Instead, she says, “I’m sure it haseverythingto do with him.”
I don’t say anything else, not sure how much she wants to talk about it, but it doesn’t take long for her to continue.
“It was different for my brothers. They were all old enough to remember what he was like before the drugs and alcohol. They all got that time with him before it all went to shit. I always felt like I missed out on something, so every time he would show up with all of his shiny promises, I would believe every single one of them. I’d be convinced things would be different—that we would finally be a real family again. My momma and brothers would tell me not to get my hopes up, but I couldn’t help it. And every time he would walk back out the door, I’d be a mess for weeks.”
“Shit, Jenna,” I mutter. “That had to be so hard.”
She gives me a half nod. “It is what it is. He’s been dead for years now, so I guess it doesn’t really matter.”
I set my hand on her thigh and lightly rub it. “Of course, it matters, and it’ll always matter as long as it bothers you. And it matters when it affects your current relationships.”
“I think I’m just constantly wondering how much a promise actually means. Is it the truth or just a bunch of empty words?”
“Well, Sunshine, I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can tell you that when I make you a promise, I mean it with everything in me.”
That gets a small smile out of her, but that’s not why I said it. I said it because it’s the honest-to-God truth.
She’s quiet for another moment before saying, “I’m really sorry, Shane.”
“For?”
Running her hands over her face, she replies, “For being such a dumpster fire of a human being. You liked me back when I was bright and fun. Then, we get together, and I’m all depressed and damaged.”
“Jenna, it’s okay to be sad or depressed. I don’t love you any less because of it.”
My use of the L-word gets me a genuine smile. “I love you too.”
“For the record, I don’t think you’re damaged.”
“You may be the only one,” she mutters under her breath.
“People said the same thing about me for a long time. They called me damaged because I was basically an orphan.”
“That’s ridiculous. Just because you dealt with a tragedy doesn’t mean you’re any less of a person.”
As if a lightbulb goes on in her head, she smiles and nods. “Ah, I see what you did there. I just brought up the same point you were trying to make.”
I give her a sly grin. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Playfully smacking my shoulder, she says, “Oh, hush.”
We lie back down, and I pull her close. She buries her face in my neck as we cuddle. She must be exhausted because it doesn’t take long before I feel her breathing even out as she drifts off to sleep.
Soon, she will start drooling and snoring like she does every night. Jenna’s more of a sleeping gremlin rather than a sleeping angel.
That’s okay.
I’ll take all the snoring and drooling in the world as long as I get to keep sleeping next to her.
Chapter Thirty-four
Jenna
Today’s the day! The day I’ve been waiting for is finally here!
Today is the day I’m supposed to get this obnoxious cast off my leg. Well, hopefully. As long as the doctor says I’m good, I’ll be cast-free in a few short hours.
I didn’t tell Shane about my appointment. I’d rather it be a lovely surprise when I see him tonight. I’ve been mentally preparing for all the dirty things I want to try now that it will be easier to move around. But I’ve kept my mouth shut in case the doc gives me bad news.
