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Tiffany
Sleep was no friend to me, but how could I complain? I was a murderer, as bad as the man I’d fallen in love with. Staring at the ceiling, the thought haunted me. How could I go on? How could I continue to practice law, knowing what I’d done? I’d made a great many mistakes in my life, but none of them compared to this. There was no coming back, and if Kade had been right about my getting away with the crime, then I faced a long and uncertain future wrangling with the dilemma.
“But what else can I do?” I whispered, lifting my hand to my head. It was full of woe, having wrestled with my misplaced morality since he’d carried me to bed. “There are no answers.”
I had killed Lucas, and whatever happened I had to live with that knowledge.
Kade had left hours ago, disappeared, I assumed to take care of the mess I’d left. My belly lurched at the hideous thought, knotting with my anxiety, but deep down, I knew I’d never have the strength to do what needed to be done. Only a man like Kade could handle the situation.
“But I’m just like him,” I reminded myself. “I should go to prison for what I’ve done.”
We both should.
“But if we do that, they’ll never let us be together.” The pounding in my head intensified. “Everything we’ve been through will have been for nothing.”
A low sob caught in my throat, producing more tears, but I discarded them with the heel of my hand. The emotion wasn’t born of sympathy or remorse. It was only filled with the regret I felt for myself and for the man I loved. Even now, I couldn’t find a single tear for the woman I’d shot. Everything was about Kade.
Yanking the cover from the bed, I pulled it over my shoulders and wandered to the window. What the hell had happened to me? Not so long ago, everything had been clear—my future, my career path, my every hope and aspiration—but now, everything was cast into shadow. He had done that. Kade had crashed into my life and caused this devastation.
“That’s not fair,” I insisted, pressing my palm into the windowpane. Consoled by the cool temperature, I moved nearer, leaning my forehead against the glass. “Kade is many things, but he didn’t make me pull the trigger.” I had done that all by myself.
Losing myself to my misery, I broke down into long protracted sobs, steaming the window around me. Whether or not I was ever convicted of Lucas’ death, I would still have to come to terms with what I’d done. No sentence would ever rid me of the burden of the guilt, which was what I deserved.
At length, the wave of emotion passed, and I could think clearly again. Walking to the en suite, I blew my nose. I’d made this choice. It was time I was mature enough to accept the consequences.
“I’ll have to give up law,” I sniffed, moving back to the fogged glass. “I don’t want to, but if I’m not going to face the law, I can’t prosecute others.”
An odd solace resonated inside of me with the verdict, as if whatever remained of my soul was placated by the loss. My sacrifice could never make amends for what I’d done, but it was something—some small gesture of conciliation in the black hole that had once been my heart. Wiping the pane with my palm, my gaze scanned the view of the Barrington estate. Eyes blinking at the light, my brows knitted. When had the sun come up? Wrapping the bed cover tighter around me, I looked closer, my attention drawn to the pillar of smoke that was being blown into view from one side.
“Fire.”
The word resounded in my head, its meaning obvious. There was only one reason Kade would have started a fire, and although I couldn’t say it aloud, the thought sent a chill racing along my spine.
“Oh God.”
Discarding the cover, I ran to the closet and yanked out the long fluffy robe he’d bought me. Pulling it on, I flew down the stairs, sliding my feet into my waiting wellington boots before I ran toward the back of the house. I stopped dead in the entrance to the kitchen, the unease in my tummy peaking.
This was where it had happened. This was where my actions had altered the course of my entire life. Inching forward, my focus flitted around for any trace of my crime, but to my bewilderment, the place was spotless. Not only was Lucas’ body gone, but there was no sign that anything untoward had happened.
Heart racing, I dashed across the floor to the glass doors and ran out into the gardens. Whatever he did to the place, I wasn’t sure that I’d ever feel comfortable there again. Kade had talked about the ghosts of his past roaming the halls, and now I had one of my own—a detective called Lucas whose curiosity had cost her life.
Doubling over at the thought, I fell to my knees on the grass. Who was I trying to kid? No superficial concession like career loss was going to make this better. I’d killed someone for fuck’s sake, and whatever Kade said, that had consequences. Heaving in a breath, I inhaled the foul smell of the impromptu cremation and vomited, the contents of my stomach lining the neatly mowed lawn. Covering my mouth, I hung my head and tried not to breathe.
This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.
Lifting my face to the sky, I let out a huge, guttural scream.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Kade
I hadn’t intended to stay, but the dancing flames lured me, making it difficult to walk away. Sure, I smelled the odor as Lucas’ body was destroyed, but it didn’t bother me. I had seen, smelt, and done worse and would do so again if it meant keeping Tiffany safe.
That was the thought that buoyed me as I stood witness to Lucas’ last moments. That was what I was thinking when the shrill scream pierced the air.
“Little girl?”
