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I stand on the stoop for a moment, totally dumbstruck. Did that really just happen? Again, I’d envisioned the worst, but the lived reality was ten times more heartbreaking. Angela hates me, that much I’m certain of, and there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do to make her feel differently. Choking back my tears, I walk away from the house that is not my home, carrying my bags in my hands, and inside me, my baby. I have no idea what to do, except that I need to find somewhere for my baby and me to live now. And I vow that my child will not live in a string of houses. My child will not have a list of addresses that are merely places to stay. My child will have ahome.
The problem is:how?
2
Ellen
Icheck the times at the bus stop and sigh. There isn’t a vehicle out of here for at least another hour, so I’m stuck. Besides, where would I go? How far will my money take me? I have no idea, and as a result, I start walking in no particular direction. It’s not going to make a difference, anyways.
Stop thinking like that, the voice in my head chides fiercely.Being negative never got anyone anywhere, and you have responsibilities now.
The reminder only makes me more depressed, and my feet slow to a trudge. I walk for a while, each step becoming slower and increasingly filled with dread. What can I do? Where should I go? Maybe I should head back to campus and throw myself at the mercy of the Housing Office. But are they even around during summers? I have no idea.
The heat starts rising as I trudge down the street, weighted down with bags on both shoulders. Angela’s neighborhood is decent, although I’ve only visited once, for winter break a couple months back. I didn’t see much then because I spent most of my time locked in the bedroom, hoping to avoid Angela and her boyfriend-of-the-moment, Barry. He was as thin as a whip with a tobacco-stained mustache that grossed me out. But despite his unattractive appearance, Barry and Angela were always going at it in the master bedroom. There was so much moaning and pounding that I started wearing ear plugs while counting the days until I could return to campus.
It’s funny, but I spent my time during that Christmas break fantasizing about the frat boys Kimber and I’d recently met, wondering what it would be like to have sex with one of them. Little did I know, of course, that I’d end up having sex with several of them, and getting pregnant without knowing who the father is. But such is life, and I don’t regret it.
I pause for a moment on my trek and consider calling Kimber. But then I shake my head because I know Kimber’s at home with her mom and stepdad for the summer, and she told me that her stepdad is a piece of work. He’s very controlling, not to mention devious, and she’s got her hands full.
Then I consider calling Cleo, another friend of mine, but she’s pregnant and about to give birth. I don’t want to bother her right now, not when she and Brody are expecting a baby any minute.
Sweat starts to trickle down my neck and into my cleavage, pooling there. A groan of irritation escapes my lips because having such huge breasts has always come with the discomfort of boob sweat. But now that they’re ginormous and swollen because of my pregnancy, it’s extra uncomfortable.
And it’s only getting hotter. The sidewalk practically steams with visible heat, and I swear, you could fry an egg on the cement surface. Clearly, I need to find a place to go, and fast. Even a coffee shop with some AC would do for now, but this neighborhood is so suburban that there doesn’t seem to be anything like that around.
Fuck. Homeless shelter it is, then. Shifting my bags awkwardly into one hand, I whip out my phone and begin a search. Hopefully, there’s one within a reasonable distance, although I might have to go back to the bus stop to catch a ride.
Blinking the hot sting of sweat out of my eyes, I focus on the task at hand, and scroll through a list of local homeless shelters nearby. Oh shit, the closest one is almost five miles away, which means that it’s back to the bus stop for me. I definitely can’t afford a taxi, and an Uber is even more out of the picture. This is going to be a difficult trek, seeing that my legs feel like lead and sweat’s already making the back of my top stick like second skin.
But then, a car comes barreling out of nowhere, headed right towards me. Hey, what are they doing? I jump out of the way just in time before it comes to a screeching halt mere inches away. Shocked, I clutch my belly as my heart races because that was close, and now that it's not just me anymore, I need to be more careful! My pulse thrums from the near miss, and I try to catch my breath.
The door to the vehicle clicks open, and I expect to see the driver rush out to apologize. But instead, a very angry man gets out, his face a thundercloud.
“Are you insane?” he rages in the deepest voice I’ve ever heard. “What the hell are you thinking, crossing the street with your head buried in your phone like that?” he continues as he rips his sunglasses off to glare at me. His eyes are a piercing blue, and they flash angrily, making my eyes sting with tears all over again.
“I wasn’t crossing the street!” I bite out. “I was standing on the sidewalk minding my own business!”
He bellows then.
“No, you weren’t! You were staring at your phone with no fucking clue about anything or anybody around you!”
I stare back at him, just as angry even as tears fill my eyes once more.
“Well, why don’t watch where you’re driving?” I scream right back. “What’s your problem, anyways?”
With that, I bend down to pick up my bags. But for some reason, I can’t get the straps onto my shoulders and the strange man bends to help me. We both straighten at the same time, and the breath catches in my throat because this is the handsomest man I’ve ever seen. Those piercingly blue eyes are lined with thick, black lashes set below a stern, dark brow. His hair is jet black and that chiseled jaw is covered in a slight stubble, accentuating perfect, full lips, which are set in a tense line as he takes me in.
I can smell the stranger’s masculinity pulsing in the hot air, and I'm overcome by a sudden powerful urge to bury my face in that broad chest and feel his strong arms envelop me. What is wrong with me? How can I want to seek solace from a man who nearly just killed me? I need to get out of here stat because clearly, my brain’s addled from the heat.
“Are you okay?” the man asks in a gruff tone. He’s standing so close now that I can almost feel his body heat, and something inside my soul collapses. My shoulders sag and I start sobbing piteously.
“What's wrong?” the man asks, consternation on his face. “Did I do this?”
“No, it’s fine,” I blubber while reaching blindly for my bags again. “It’s totally fine. I’m fine.”
I make to turn and go, but a hand the size of a spade lands gently on my shoulder, making me jump. Yet the warmth and weight of it steadies me, even as it sends a wave of heat through my body.
“Let me get you a coffee,” the stranger suggests in his deep voice. “There's a place not far from here, and you look like you could use a beverage.” I shake my head.
