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“Well, yeah, now I do. Don’t you?” I mean it, but my teeth bite into my lower lip, and my eyes fall to the floor.
“Now? Talk to me, Maci.” He brings his finger to my chin, gently pulling my gaze back to his.
I take a breath to ease my nerves. “I’m thrown off because I didn’t expect to see you tonight. But now that we’re here…it’s definitely something I’ve been thinking about.”
“Yeah, I know it feels out of the blue today, but this isn’t a random hookup for me. I’ve been thinking about this too, about you.”
My stomach flutters at words I’ve never heard before and didn’t expect to come from him. His voice is rough when he speaks again. “If something happens right now between us, I want that. But only if you do.” His fingers touch my wrist, and the electricity that immediately flows through my body renders me speechless. I look up until my eyes meet his and realize he’s looking for confirmation. I nod. “I do.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, his other hand makes contact with my other wrist and both of his hands slowly sweep up my arms, leaving chills in their wake. By the time his hands reach my neck, mine find his hips, and I lean into him. His hands are soft as they grip the side of my face, and his thumbs run along the edges of my cheeks.
His steps forward force me backward, until we are against the edge of the bed. His hands fall away from me, the point of contact replaced by his shirt as it brushes over my skin when he pulls it over his head. My heart races as I glance behind me before lowering myself until I’m sitting on the mattress. He follows me, kneeling so he’s straddling me. His hand finds its place near my spine as he slowly lowers me down, his mouth connecting to mine at the same moment his body presses mine into the mattress.
Shifting his weight back to his knees, he slowly runs his hands up my sides, pulling my shirt along with them and tugging to encourage me to lift my arms. I follow his lead, letting my shirt slide off easily and fall to the floor beside us. He leans back slightly to get a better look at me, and self doubt rushes through me until a smile spreads across his face, and I watch his eyes darken.
His hands fall to the side of each of my breasts as his mouth finds my neck. Massaging lightly, one of his thumbs snags over the edge of my bra, and pulls it back. He’s a little rough as his hand rubs over me, my nipples getting hard as he pinches one between his fingers. This feels like an out of body experience. I mean, Grayson and I had sex almost our entire senior year, but that’s the only experience I’ve had. I wouldn’t say it was bad because I always enjoyed it. But this, we haven’t done anything yet, and everywhere our skin touches, it’s as if there's electricity shooting through me. It would make sense for me to be more nervous than I am because it’s been so long, but for some reason, I’m not. All the nerves I felt on the way over here have disappeared.
His hands start to trail down my body, his mouth following closely behind. When he reaches the button on my jeans, he undoes it with a quick twist of his fingers. I feel the zipper being tugged down slowly, and when it catches at the end, he looks at me watching him, as if asking for permission again. I give him a look that I hope says “do whatever the hell you want” and apparently he translates it well because he tugs my jeans down my legs, pulling them inside out as they come off.
His hands graze over the outside of my thighs softly, the pressure increasing as they make their way to the back of my legs. He leans down, pressing his lips right above my knee, and continuing a trail of kisses up my inner thigh until he can’t go any higher. A sensation I haven’t felt in a while rushes through me, but at a level I’ve never experienced before. I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted to be with someone as much as I do at this moment. His fingers slip under the lace, one of them looping around the top edge as he slips the delicate material down my body.
Running his hands up my body as he goes, he climbs on top of me. His look of want escalates to pure lust, and any softness around what was happening is replaced by intensity in the air around us. His eyes catch in my gaze. I try to read them as I reach between us, undoing the button on his jeans, but it’s no use. I can’t see past the desire in his eyes. At the same time, my gut tells me it’s more than that, it’s the reason I didn’t stop him when I realized where this was headed.
His eyes drift from mine as he reaches into his back pocket. There’s a crinkle of what I assume is a condom wrapper, which is confirmed when he tosses the purple foil on the bed next to me before kicking off his jeans. His eyes close as he takes my breast in his hand and sucks my nipple into his mouth. I suck in a breath, the sensation from that alone turning me on more than I’ve ever been. On instinct, I reach down, taking him in my hand, and a small moan escapes his mouth, vibrating against me. He’s already hard, but gets all the way there as I slide my hand up and down his length. I can tell I’m already getting wet, him being turned on turns me on more than I thought it would.
He leans up on his forearm, his hand gripping the side of my face as his mouth meets mine with urgency. Without wasting any more time, he rolls the condom on before he slowly pushes inside of me. My head falls back from losing my breath for a moment. His fingers lace into my hair behind my head and pull my mouth back to his. “God, you feel good,” he groans against my lips. His next kiss is forceful, like he has no control over what he’s doing and can’t get enough. It’s possibly the sexiest thing I’ve ever experienced. I imagine what his abs look like, contracting above me as I run my fingers up his side, the muscles in his forearms flexing next to my face as he holds himself up. His sandy blond hair is long enough to barely brush my forehead as he hovers over me, his dark brown eyes nearly black from desire. Watching him want me, even if it’s only in this moment, is enough to pull me to the edge.
He’s pushing in and pulling out of me so slowly, it’s almost torturous. My hips press up so he goes deeper, wanting more. He smiles in our kiss, like he knows he’s tormenting me. “Not yet,” he whispers in my ear, but he doesn’t pull away. The air around me is warm now, and hearing his breathing pick up makes me want him more.
As if reading my mind and not being able to hold back any longer himself, he pushes my knee toward my head, pinning it beside me with his arm as he thrusts into me, deeper now, causing us to moan in sync. Pressure starts to build inside me at a much quicker pace than it was before, and I’m on the edge of tipping over. The muscles in my stomach start to tighten as he pushes into me, over and over. With every pull back, I crave the feeling of all of him inside me for the split second he’s not. I’m tightening around him as his breath hitches, and we both ride our orgasms out together.
He collapses onto me. I feel his breath in my hair as he reaches to run his fingers through it, letting his hand rest beside me once they work their way through. After a minute of stillness passes, he pulls out of me, rolling onto his back. Not wanting to lose contact, I roll into him, so my head falls into his chest. He hesitates for long enough that I wonder if I shouldn’t have done that. Maybe thisissupposed to be just sex.
Right as I decided to move, he wraps his arm around me and pulls me into him. The sweat from his body is wet against my face, but I lean into it, my arm reaching around his waist. I’m trapped in a euphoric state, barely registering the kiss he presses to the top of my head before sitting and pulling me with him.
He bends down to grab his briefs off the floor as I stand there, a little uncomfortable. “Umm, do you mind if I rinse off quickly?” You would think after being that intimate with someone, I wouldn’t be nervous to ask a simple question, but I feel awkward.
“Yeah, of course,” he doesn’t hesitate as he looks up and points toward his bathroom. It’s in his room, thank goodness.
I tie my hair up so I don’t have to sleep with it wet. I’m assuming I’m going to be staying here, but this is the first time we’ve had sex, the first time I’ve even been to his house, and I have no idea how comfortable he is having someone in his space. Not to mention, we aren’t dating, are we?
I step into the shower, pulling the curtain closed behind me. I close my eyes and let the scalding hot water fall onto my face. What the hell am I doing? Sleeping with someone I hardly know doesn’t feel like me at all. There’s something about Dean I can’t say no to though. I don’t want to say no to him. When he runs his hands through his hair, he looks so damn sexy. The way his dimples show when he smiles as he chews on the end of a toothpick, it makes my stomach flip. There is this pull toward him. I’ve felt it since the moment I saw him on my birthday, this need to kiss him even though he was a complete stranger. Whatever just happened on his bed, there’s no way he can’t be on the same page as me. Right? I mean, that was easily the best sex I’ve ever had. I know it’s been a long time for me, but I would have remembered if it felt that good. It has to be because of the intense chemistry between us. Unless it wasn’t as good for him? Or maybe he’s amazing in bed because he’s had a lot more recent experience than me. Either way, I wish his hands were all over me again. The moment I think it, something touches my side.
I pull my face out of the water, spinning around so fast, I almost slip. There’s that freaking smile. My hand falls to my chest, and I shift my feet to balance myself, “You scared the shit out of me.” I manage to let out a small laugh in the process of trying to catch my breath.
“You alright?” he laughs, more to himself than at me.
“Mhm,” I manage to get out. He just saw me naked a few minutes ago, but I’m suddenly self conscious in the well lit bathroom. I start to move my arms to cover myself.
“Good.” He bites the side of his bottom lip, filling the space between us before my arms have the chance. His hands slide around either side of my back, pulling me to him before he steps me backward, through the stream of water and against the wall. Out of instinct my hands go to my face, brushing the water out of my eyes and clearing them to see the guy standing in front of me. I press my hands lightly against his chest as I look at him and only have a second to let insecurity seep in again before his mouth presses into mine. Every thought that doesn’t belong in this moment fades away. His hands don’t wander, but his fingers dig into that place on my lower back he seems to love, pulling us as close together as we could possibly be, unless he was inside me again.
His tongue sweeps inside my mouth, deepening our kiss as water flows around us. He doesn’t pull back for at least ten minutes. When he does, I finally open my eyes to see him standing there, water dripping off the ends of his hair and beading all over his body. What Dean does to me is something unlike I’ve ever experienced. When he’s around, it seems like he can sense what I want without me telling him. I am seriously about to be on my knees begging for round two if we do not get out of the shower right now. Who am I? Is this who I am? Or who I am with him?
I pull open the curtain, step out to grab the two towels sitting on the counter and reach back to hand one to Dean. I immediately wrap mine around myself, feeling unsure now that we are no longer in a heated moment. He brings his towel to his face to dry it before rubbing it over his hair. Seriously, Maci, get a grip.
“I wasn’t sure if you had anything going on early tomorrow morning, but if not you can stay here, and I can take you home in the morning.”
“Okay, thank you. That works.” I wander out of the bathroom in search of my underwear. Once I pull them on, I find my shirt on the other side of the bed. I usually sleep naked, and even though the shirt I wore tonight is not the kind you sleep in, it feels weird to not wear anything. I didn’t notice he was standing behind me, but he must have seen my hesitation because he tosses me a folded black t-shirt. When I unfold it, I notice it’s a shirt for his friends’ band we saw on our first date. I decide then to steal it. Maybe collecting his clothes will keep him close.
After sliding the shirt over my head, I look at my phone before setting it on the floor. It’s already 3 a.m. My mind is wide awake turning over my thoughts about everything that happened tonight, but exhaustion overpowers it. I can hardly keep my eyes open as I crawl onto my side of the bed.
