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“Honey, it’s fine. It’s only for a few minutes.” Papa winked at me like he always used to do when I was a kid.
“Mornin’, my handsome little man.” Mama leaned down and ruffled the dark hair that had tipped me into nostalgia earlier today before placing a quick kiss on his cheek.
She stood back up and leaned into me for a hug as I stood in the doorway. “Hey.” Her eyes held a hint of concern like always. I shook it off. “Come on in.” I opened the door a little further and welcomed my parents in.
“How are you holding up today, sweetie?” She whispered meekly as we walked into the living room. I shook my head. I didn’t want to talk abouthim. All it did was tear open my heart a little wider.
“I wish you’d stop asking. I’m fine. We’re fine.” She nodded, biting her tongue even though I could tell she wanted to say more. I didn’t mean to come off as snappy, but every year on this day it was the same thing. They’d come over, and she’d ask how I was doing like somehow it had changed from the year before.
“Benji, Pawpaw brought you something.” Mama says, pointing at my father, who stood holding up a present wrapped in light blue wrapping paper.
“Hey, lil’ man.” He squatted down and handed over the gift.
“Dad…,” I reprimanded. He always did this; went about spoiling Ben. Papa looked up at me from his squatted position on the floor, a goofy grin spread on his face. “Annagayle Marie Rafferty, if I want to buy my grandson things, I am going to buy my grandson things, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.” He said it resolutely in a tone that didn’t barter feedback.
Benjamin, beaming as big as his little lips would allow, ran to the couch and sat down with his treasure while we followed. He tore open the wrapping paper with the gusto of a dog with a rope toy. “No way…” I heard Ben whisper in wonder as the paper revealed his present. A new, bright green fishing pole set for kids is what he held before him.
Dad reached out and squeezed my son’s shoulder. “Yeah, bud. Now you can come fishing with me on the boat.”
I lifted my eyebrow when I caught his eyes. “What do you say to Pawpaw?”
A high pitched noise came from his lips as he threw his hands around Papa’s neck. “Thank you! Can we go and use ‘em today?” Blue eyes found mine as he turned to look at me. “Can we, Mama? Please, please, please.” He dropped to his knees on the floor with his hands clenched together tightly as he begged.
An hour later, we were heading to the marina. The dock rocked as we walked down it, and a cool breeze brushed against my shoulders as we passed the mass of boats on the way to Papa’s yacht. Papa’s got the cooler in his right hand and is holding Mama’s hand with his left. I wanted a love like theirs - steadfast, true, never faltering without making up.
I shook my head, hoping the silly feelings building up inside me would dissipate. It was only because of what today signified that I was so emotional.
The sun hitting the water before us made it shimmer, symbolizing a love that lasts as far and as wide as the ocean.
Infinity.
Never ending
Forever going strong.
It’s how you could always describe how long my parents' love will endure.
The boat rocked as I stepped up onto the deck from the dock. Papa picked up Benjamin and was lifting him into the boat as Mama stepped on behind me. Once everyone was seated and comfortable, Papa slipped behind the wheel and the engine growled to life beneath us. I pulled Ben over to me, slipping the life jacket over his head and securing it around his chest before applying sunscreen to his pale skin so he didn’t burn under the heat of the sun.
Again, those little eyebrows furrowed in question. “Mama, do I always need that much?”
“Yes, baby. It’s so you don’t burn and have ouchies afterward.” He bobbed his head as if my word was law.
The boat slowed to a stop about forty minutes after we left the marina. It dipped and bobbed in the water with each slight wave that hit it. When it fully stopped, Benjamin hopped up and ran over to Papa, excitement brimming on his little face.
Papa patted him on the shoulder. “Okay, tyke. You ready to try out that new fishing rod?”
“Yep!” Ben popped his lips on the “p” as he said it. I loved this little boy with all my heart. The smile formed on my face before I even realized it. Not that it was hard to believe. Benjamin had been my world since the first time I laid eyes on him. He’d been so small and handsome…
I sat back and watched my father teach my baby how to fish. “Give it a little more line, kiddo,” was quickly followed by, “Leave it out there and keep it still. You want to interest the fish so they come closer.”
His little tongue stuck out the corner of his mouth, and his brows contorted in concentration. I felt a hand on my arm and looked over to see Mama staring at me. I sighed. “Go ahead and say whatever it is you’re thinking.”
She was an observer, you see, always watching, and she could read me like a book. I swear some days she had eyes in the back of her head. “I’m just worried about you, hunny. You’re a fantastic mother, and you’ve got an amazing little guy there, but what about you? I can tell you’re lonely. Have you thought about dating or maybe moving on? I just want you to be happy again. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that smile you always used to grace us with when you were a kid.”
“Well, I’m not that kid anymore. I have my own now, and he’s all that matters.” I said it harsher than I meant to, but every word was true.
“Look, Annagayle, I’m not saying to do anything permanent, I’m just asking you to have an open mind.” Knowing my Mama, this conversation wouldn’t end until I agreed.
