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She bowed her head, closed her eyes, and tried to pray again.
"God... I know You are there, but if You're listening... I want to thank you for the time I had with my father. It wasn't long enough, but... Thank You. If... If I can... I would like to pray for strength. For guidance, I think. Yes, guidance more than anything. I don't know what I need most. I... I just think I need You."
Not knowing exactly what she was praying for or even if it would be heard, Beverly let go of all of the uncertainties that had been growing inside of her. It felt strange and awkward at first, like it was unnatural for her to do something like this. But as the words flowed out of her mouth, they carried an unfamiliar peace along with them which surprised and delighted her.
Slowly, she could feel a stirring within her heart, but she wasn't sure how to reconcile what had happened with what she believed about God and faith, but maybe prayer wasn't so strange after all. Maybe it was just another way to talk directly with God without any barriers between them. Suddenly filled with new hope, she continued praying while walking toward her car and then drove away feeling lighter than before.
It had been a step, maybe a big one, toward helping her heal, all of it, visiting her father, talking to him, and then praying to God.
The drive home seemed to be much shorter than usual, and before she knew it, Beverly was turning onto her street. As she approached the house, her mom came out onto the porch and waved. She smiled back and parked in front of the house. The sound of her car door closing echoed in the silent night air as she exited the car and stepped out into the cool evening night.
She looked up at the stars twinkling in the sky and thought about what a strange day it had been, all of that digging up old emotions and having a conversation with Roy which had opened her eyes to so many new things. She hadn't expected to take such a journey today, but here she was.
And the night wasn't over yet.
As soon as she reached the front porch, her mom gave her a warm hug, and for the first time in months, Beverly felt like things were going to get better.
"Come on inside," her mom said, holding the door open for Beverly.
She headed inside, and Beverly realized her mom had company over.
Roy.
He stood, his smile a bit strange, like he was a little uncertain about things.
"I, ah... Mrs. Young, do you mind if I talk to Beverly a moment alone?" he asked.
"Of course," her mom said. She patted Beverly's arm before heading to the kitchen.
Where her mom would be able to overhear everything.
Beverly shook her head at her mom's backside and then smiled at Roy. "What's up? Is everything okay at the orchard?"
"Oh, yes. It is. I, ah... I know I upset you earlier, and I didn't mean to. I was just... Here."
He bent down and picked up the vase on the coffee table.
"You got me flowers?" Beverly blurted.
What a stupid question. Clearly he had.
"Yes. I hope... I hope that's not overstepping. Not now, not earlier. I just... We're working together, but I want us to be friends..." He trailed off.
Her cheeks turned pink, maybe even red. She definitely felt heated.
Did Roy want to be more than friends?
Did she want that?
Maybe... but right now, there was the job to do. And she was still trying to figure out her relationship with God. And handling her grief over losing her father.
Once she knew for certain who she was, then she could figure out where exactly she stood with God.
With Roy.
And with herself.
ChapterThirteen
