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"Nothing. I turned him down."
"Why?"
"Why?" Beverly parroted. "Because I'm not ready."
"Not ready," her mom repeated. "Why aren't you ready?"
"I just... I don't want to lose anyone. After Father... I just can't."
Her mother sighed and sat beside her, pulling her into a hug. "I know it's hard, sweetheart, but you can't keep living in the past. You have to live in the present and look ahead to the future. That's what your father would have wanted too."
Beverly sniffed and tried to sort through her emotions. She didn't want to cry because it hadn't helped her any so far, and she was feeling her father's presence more and more. She didn't feel quite so alone.
Yet, he wasn't here. He couldn't hug her like her mom was, and that loss still struck Beverly deeply.
After a few moments, her mom pulled away and cupped Beverly's cheeks in her hands.
"It's okay to be scared," her mom said softly, "but don't be afraid of life because then you would miss out on all of the beauty that comes with it, like love, joy, and happiness."
"I... You said you don't think you would ever be with anyone else. Marriage is until death do you part."
"Yes, it is, for some," her mom agreed, "but your father and I... I don't know. Maybe it's just too early, but the love we shared... I still love and adore your father. No, our relationship wasn't like most. It was long-distance, and there were times when I just wanted to hang up my nurse's cap and go home to you both and never leave."
"So why didn't you?"
"I actually did once," her mom said. "I came home to surprise your father and told him I wasn't going back, and he... he wasn't happy."
"Why not?" Beverly couldn't believe it.
"Because he knew that, deep down, I would miss my job. Finding a balance between the job and helping people as I've always felt called to do and being there for you and him, my family... it wasn't easy on me. It was a sacrifice on all of our parts. Wish I could've been here more, and I will always have that on my conscience, but your father and I made decisions together, and I tried to circumvent that, and we decided ultimately to go back to how things were. It worked even if it wasn't perfect, and isn't that the way all of life is?"
"I suppose," Beverly said slowly.
Her mom gently scolded her, "Beverly, life is all about taking risks. You can't be scared of falling in love and living your life. It will only make you miss out on so much. Relationships are important and can bring you so much joy if you just let them."
Tears welled up in Beverly's eyes as she thought about what her mom said. She had been so focused on protecting herself from pain that she hadn't allowed herself to experience the good that comes with being with someone else.
"I'm sorry," Beverly said softly.
"Honey, I don't want you to apologize. I just want you to live. Your father would have wanted that too, and I think you and I both know that your father would have liked Roy as much as I do. The question is... do you like him? Do you want to date him? There's no harm in putting yourself out there and dating, but that doesn't mean it has to be with Roy."
"Even though that's who you want for me."
"What I want doesn't matter so much as what you want." Her mom tapped Beverly's heart. "What does your heart want?"
"I..." Beverly blew out a breath.
"It's okay if you need more time to think about this." Her mother reached over and pulled her into a hug. "It's okay, sweetheart. I know this is hard for you and I understand why you're scared, but don't let fear keep you from experiencing something beautiful."
Beverly smiled and bit her lip. "I have some soul searching to do. I mean... Do I have feelings for Roy? Yes, of course. What if we're only meant to be friends, though? What if trying to see if we can be something more ruins it? And all of the work I have to do..."
"I think he knows a bit about the hours you work considering you two have basically been partners on this job, haven't you?"
"Outside of when he's had to do his chores around the orchard, yes," Beverly admitted.
"And tomorrow, you'll be going to the office."
"I know. No more beautiful scenery." Beverly chuckled. "I'll miss the place as much as I'll miss him."
