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Silence enveloped the room as we waited for Deva to start talking, but when it became obvious she wasn’t going to be the first to speak, Lark stepped in.
“Hi, Deva. So, how do you know Myra?”
The woman smiled at that question, and I was surprised to discover that she had a really appealing smile, complete with two dimples that pressed deep into her cheeks. “We met several years ago at the farmers market in town. I was there with my... family when I stumbled across her booth. We’ve been friendly ever since.”
It was odd, the way she seemed to almost struggle with the wordfamily, but I decided to let it go. It was clear the woman was nervous. I assumed it had caused her to stumble over her words.
Shane spoke next. “That’s nice. Myra’s great.”
Those dimples pressed even deeper. “I think so. She’s always been so kind to me.”
There was something in the way she spoke that poked at the edges of my mind. It was almost formal, as if she hadn’t spent a lot of time out with people her own age, and hadn’t picked up on the way the rest of society talked.
I sat up straighter, shifting in my chair, the subtle movement causing Deva’s eyes to shoot back to me. “We don’t have an application from you.”
She fidgeted, the tension spilling off her and filling the room. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t realize there was an application I needed to fill out. Myra didn’t mention it.”
“It’s no problem,” Lark assured her before cutting her eyes at me and giving me a look that screamed:Don’t screw this up.
I had no doubt that the women in my life—and now Cash’s life—were at their wits end. Given that I was the main reason myson didn’t have a nanny yet, and I’d been depending on them to pick up that slack, they were getting tired of me. So, I cleared my throat and did my best to rein in my attitude.
“Can you tell us what qualifies you to be a nanny?” I asked, wanting, no,needingto get this interview over with. If I couldn’t have a beer, or something even stronger, I needed a coffee as big as my goddamn head. I needed to get the hell out of this room that was starting to feel too small and breathe in some fresh air.
It would have been great to forget, even for a few minutes, that my life had officially spiraled out of my control, but I couldn’t do that surrounded by all these people. As much as I loved and appreciated each one of them, they were a constant reminder that I was no longer responsible for only myself.
“Well, um...” Deva pulled her bottom lip between her pearly white teeth and bit down nervously. “I don’t have any official experience or anything, but I’ve done a lot of babysitting for my... community. I started at a very early age, so I’m quite comfortable caring for young children.”
My brow furrowed, my mind sticking on one single word. “Your community? What kind of community exactly?”
The flush that had coated her cheeks only moments ago leeched from her skin, leaving her face a sickly white.
Her fingers knotted together in her lap, the knuckles growing pale as she gripped her hands together tightly. “It’s actually...” Her throat moved on a thick swallow. “I live with the Fellowship of the Enlightened,” she finally confessed after several tense seconds.
“A fuckingcult?” I barked, the air in the room going static as I jerked up from my chair so fast it went flying backward. “Nuh-uh. No goddamn way! I’m not having some cult member look after my fucking kid.”
At my accusatory tone, something in the woman across from me shifted. From one blink to the next, she’d gone from timidand jittery to steel-spined resilience as she objected loudly, “I’m not a member of a cult, and there is no need for such abrasive language.”
I let out a derisive snort. “You know who would say that? Someone who’s part of a fucking cult.”
“Laeth, brother, just calm down for a minute.” Jensen stood behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder, more than likely to push me back into my seat than for comfort. “Take a breath.”
“I am not a cult member,” Deva insisted. “I’m just a regular person like you and everyone else in this room.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Highly doubtful, given that no one else in this room is a religious fanatic.”
She shot to her feet, her hands clenched into tight fists. “I’m not a religious fanatic!” she practically shouted at the top of her lungs. “I’m nothing like them. That’s why I’m desperate for this job. I can’t spend another moment with those... thosepeople. I can’t stand their way of living, of the oppressive rules, and cruelness. I can’t go back there. I justcan’t.”
Once she finished her little rant, her chest was rising and falling like she’d just run a marathon. Her eyes widened in panic at the realization of what had just happened. Instead of running out like I’d assumed she’d do, she surprised me by lowering back into her chair and pulling in a calming breath.
“Please,” she started again. Her voice might have been calmer, but I could see the desperation radiating off her and hear it laced through her words. “I need this job. Please. I know I’m not exactly qualified, but I know how to care for a two-year-old. I’m great with children. I’ve looked after them since I was ten years old, and you have my solemn vow that your son will always be safe with me.”
I felt for her, truly. I knew what it was like to be in a shitty situation you were desperate to get out of. For Christ’s sake, Iwas practically living it. But I’d made enough bad decisions to last a lifetime. I couldn’t let this be another one of them.
“Look, I’m sorry, but—”
Aurora cut me off. “Deva, could you excuse us for just a moment?”
I looked up at her in astonishment. “Are you cra—”
