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Chapter
Seventeen
DEVA
I perused the shelves,my eyes darting here and there, so staggered by the sheer number of books around me that I was having trouble focusing. I wanted to readeverything.
I wanted to flip through cookbooks for new recipes. I wanted to lie curled up in bed at night with the lights on because the horror story I was engrossed in made me hear bumps in the night. I wanted to lose myself in the twists and turns of different thrillers and try to guess who’d done it in a murder mystery.
And with this new life came all the time in the world to do just that. I could read whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, and no one could say a word about it. I decided my best bet would be to start with one of each, so I scoured each section until I found the absolute perfect ones before finally making my way to the section I’dreallycome for.
I walked slowly through the rows of shelves that made up the romance section. After the one I’d finished of Myra’s, I was craving the ups and downs of a whirlwind relationship that eventually ended with a happily ever after. I wanted to read about things that were forbidden from even being discussed where I’d grown up. I wanted to read about things that made meblush and made my body antsy. I wanted to read about things I’d never experienced, about men touching women in ways I’d never been touched but had always secretly craved. I’d been shamed, made to feel dirty and impure, but I refused to believe that what the Fellowship claimed was right.
I wanted to read about how it felt to be caressed and petted by a man with big, strong hands, and how a body could feel like it was turning inside out with need. I wanted that twinge of desire I felt in the deepest recesses of my belly when I was reading the last book, when the man had bent the woman over, saying the most deliciously filthy things to her as he filled her up.
That kind of thing wasn’t in the cards for me personally, but for the time being, I’d happily read about it. I’d learned things from romance novels that no adult within the Fellowship would haveeverdared discuss, and I wasn’t ashamed to admit that I’d been making mental notes of all the things I’d be willing to try one day if the opportunity ever arose.
I scanned the shelves, picking up one book after another, reading the synopsis and scanning the pages. It seemed like an impossible task to pick justone. I finally decided that the best way to choose was to simply close my eyes and grab one, so that was exactly what I did, and with my five books in hand, I marched up to Lyric’s desk with a huge smile.
I kept my chin held high as I stated, “I’d like to apply for that library card now, and these are the books I’ll be checking out.”
She returned my smile with one of her own as she reached beneath her desk and came back with a single sheet of paper. “You fill that out and I’ll start on these. We’ll get you squared away in no time.”
I bent down to the form and began scribbling the information required for me to receive my new coveted library card. I was halfway through when she let out a whistle that drew my attention.
“Babe, this is agood one,” she stressed as she held up the romance book I had selected. “You’ll love it.”
With that, my excitement grew.
Story hour ended notlong after I finished checking out, and with my new books tucked securely in a canvas tote Lyric had given me to make transportation easier, Cash and I were off.
I gave his arm a little swing with my own, tightening my grip on his hand to draw his attention. “Did you have fun during story hour?” I asked as we made our way down the sunny sidewalk.
“Yeah!” he enthused. “Fun! I yike piewits!”
I let out a laugh at his excitement. “Well then I guess we’ll have to go back again next week, huh?”
Cash jumped up and down, throwing his tiny fist into the air. “Yeah, yeah, yeah!”
I was just about to suggest we stop for lunch somewhere when Cash jerked to a stop like his feet were suddenly glued to the concrete beneath us.
I looked back at him with a confused frown. “Are you all right, little bug?”
His lips parted on a breath, and he reached out with his free arm to point as he whispered, “Peace car.”
I followed his gaze to the big white SUV a few yards away. There was a tan and green stripe painted around the middle, a lightbar mounted to the roof, and a big gold star on the side panel with the wordsSheriff’s Departmentpainted in big, bold letters beside it.
“Day-day, peace car!” Cash cried, his chubby cheeks turning red with excitement. It made sense. His favorite toy was abattered old police car, and his whole bedroom was done up in fire trucks and police cars. If I had to guess what he’d grow up to be, the list was very short.
I lifted my brows and asked, “Would you like to go take a look?”
He looked up at me like I’d just offered him a million presents, his very own pony, and an entire candy store’s worth of sugar.
Together we made our way over to the sheriff’s SUV. I set my bag of library books on a bench nearby so I could pick Cash up for the best view through the passenger window.
“Now no touching, okay? We don’t want to get smudges all over the clean windows.”
“No harm if he smudges it up. Nothing that can’t be cleaned off.”
