Page 59 of Slow Burn


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“That didn’t do anything for you, did it?”

Guilt crept up my neck, tinting my skin red. “No, it did!” I promised. “It was really nice.”

He let out a groan, but one corner of his mouth trembled, and I could tell he was fighting back a chuckle. “Nice is the kiss of death, short stuff.”

“It was a beautiful kiss,” I said softly, infusing all the sincerity I felt in that moment into those words. I wanted him to see and hear that I meant it, because it was the honest truth. “I don’t think I could have asked for a better first kiss. It was sweet and gentle, and you were so kind to do that for me. I’m glad it was with you. I very much enjoyed it.”

“But there was no spark,” he confirmed, taking some of the burden off of my shoulders and carrying it on his. I really had liked that kiss, and it would be a fond memory for the rest of my life. But it was a relief to know I wasn’t the only one who felt it wasn’t quite right.

“I think you’re wonderful,” I told him. “I really mean that, Holt.”

He resumed our early position and started swaying to the song again. “I know you do, sweetheart. Everything you feel is written in those big eyes of yours. Don’t ever try and play poker. You’d be terrible at it.”

I giggled and face planted into his chest, pulling the musky scent of amber and man. When I got hold of myself, I looked up to him with a smile. “I hope it’s not insensitive for me to ask if we can be friends. It’s just... I don’t have many, and my gut tells me you’d be a good one.”

He smiled, giving his head a subtle shake. “Not insensitive at all, Deva. In fact, I’d be insulted if youdidn’twant to be my friend.”

I brightened, my dimples pressing deeper as my smile grew wider. “Really? So we’re okay?”

“Really, short stuff. And we’re great. Just as long as you never try to play darts again. I don’t want to have to arrest you for reckless endangerment.”

That was a promise I felt confident I could keep.

Chapter

Twenty-Three

LAETH

I liftedmy mug to my lips, barely tasting the coffee I was swallowing as I kept my glare pinned to the hallway and waited.

I hadn’t slept for shit the night before. At first, it had been concern keeping me awake. I’d gotten a perfunctory text from Deva informing me she was out with a friend and she’d be home late. As if that were detail enough to keep me from worrying. I didn’t know who she was with, where she was, or what she was doing.

It had been eating at me to the point that I’d actually called Myra to see if Deva was at her house. When she told me she wasn’t, my stomach had bottomed out. My mind automatically started inventing every worst-case scenario out there, from car wreck to abduction. And that worry only made the guilt that had been eating at me for days much worse.

I couldn’t stop picturing the look on her face when I’d told Jensen and Shane that she was just the nanny. It had been a dick thing to say, but Jensen the asshole had been baiting me, because he got a kick out of pushing my buttons, and I’d jumped to defend myself, letting the lie fall from my mouth easilybecause I didn’t want to listen to him or Gage give me shit for falling into old patterns.

Whatever was going on with me and Deva was different from how things had been with women in the past. I wasn’t trying to forget with her. I wasn’t trying to bury the hell I’d seen and lived through during my time in the Army. She wasn’t a distraction. She was solace. I didn’t need to forget the past when she was around, because she kept me in the present. Wherever she was, that was where I wanted to be.

The urge to drink until I was numb had all but disappeared since she moved in, and while the nightmares were still there, I felt better equipped to handle them. I was so busy trying to fight off my growing attraction to her that all those dark thoughts were inadvertently pushed to the back of my mind. She’d given me a kind of peace without either of us realizing it was happening.

It had only been a few days, but I missed the new normal we’d created. I missed hearing her laughter, so carefree and musical. I missed sitting in the passenger seat of my car and pretending like I wasn’t choking the edges of the seat in a death grip to keep from showing her that her driving was scaring the shit out of me. She’d just looked so goddamn happy behind the wheel. It was another facet of her unlocked, another piece of freedom taken after so many years of living under someone else’s thumb.

When she opened up to what she’d lived through with those fucking people, I nearly lost it, and I had a feeling she hadn’t confessed it all to me. But it was enough that I wanted to drive my ass up that mountain and beat the living hell out of every one of those sons of bitches who had caused her even the slightest pain.

She was so much stronger than she knew. She’d fought tooth and nail for a better life. She was finally starting to come out ofher shell, to see what the world had to offer, and I’d snapped shutters back into place with a handful of carelessly spoken words.

I’d let her retreat behind those walls that she felt safe behind, but I’d made a promise to myself that today was the day I made things right; I was going to apologize for hurting her and try to get us back to what we’d had.

Then my asshole of an ex-best friend and soon-to-be-dead business partner had gotten way too much enjoyment out of texting me picture after picture of Deva in that fuckhead, Holton Clarke’s arms. And when one came through of the two of them kissing, my vision had burned red.

I’d wanted nothing more than to climb in my truck and break every traffic law Redemption had on my way to Bad Alibi. I wanted to rip her out of his arms and pound my fist into his face for daring to touch what was mine. And I would have... if it hadn’t been the middle of the night and my son wasn’t sleeping so peacefully in his bed.

I didn’t have the luxury of flying off the handle any longer, so I’d been forced to wait for her to get home before blowing my top. Unfortunately, Cash had woken up before she got home, and the only way I’d been able to get him back to sleep was to take him to my bed and lie down with him. Where I promptly fell into a fitful sleep.

She’d come in some time after that and closed herself behind the safety of her bedroom door. Now it was the following morning, and after a few shitty hours, I was up and pacing my kitchen, waiting for her to come out of hiding.

A quick glance at the clock on the microwave showed she was now fifteen minutes later than she usually was most mornings. Usually by now she was putting the finishing touches on breakfast while I showered and got ready for the day. But I’d been up before my normal time, ready to figure out what the hellwas going on. However, the woman with those answers, seemed to be sleeping in.

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