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Fury bubbles through my blood. “Tell me the rest.”
“He gave me a ‘safeword,’ then got pissed when I used it.” She touches her neck. “Threatened to kill me if I didn’t stop screaming.”
This is so much worse than I expected. “How’d you get away from him?”
Her lips twist into a mixture of sadness and maniacal glee. “Do you really want to know?” she asks in a low, conspiratorial tone.
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”
“I had this lamp on my bedside table. Someone gave it to me when I was a kid.” She holds out her hand, curling it like she’s about to pitch a softball. “This pretty, stained glass turtle sitting on a heavy brass base shaped like a log or flowers or something.” Fear seems to freeze her in place for a few seconds.
I wait for her to continue.
“He had the knife at my neck. I reached over, desperate for anything to get him off of me.” She blows out a sharp breath as if shaking off lingering wisps of the past.
“My fingers encountered the lamp first.” She swings her arm in a wild arc. “Bam!Nailed him right in the side of the head.”
I release the breath I’d been holding since she mentioned the lamp. “Good job. That could’ve gone badly. Enraged him even more.”
“It was instinct. I was afraid he’d kill me.”
I squeeze her tight and kiss her cheek. “You’re incredibly brave.”
“Incrediblydumb,” she corrects.
“You wereyoungand open to being influenced by someone older maybe, butnotdumb.” The heat of conviction flows through my words, and I hope she takes them to heart.
“Dex?” She tilts her head back so she can see my face. “I haven’t told someone I’m seeing that story in a very long time.”
Why does that hot spike of jealousy poke me in the ribs every time she alludes to anyone else ever being in her life?
What she said sinks in. “Why?”
“Because the last guy I told—someone I was talking to online—I wanted him to understand why I was a little hesitant to meet up in person. And he waswaytoo interested in poking at my trauma. It was disturbing how excited the story made him. Then he told me it was my own fault.”
What the fuck?“I hope you told him to fuck off.”
“Even better. I blocked him. Deleted myself from all the dating apps. Locked down my social media. Done. All those little red flags that had jumped out at me before, I finally learned to recognize. I listened to that inner voice screamingdanger. And instead of doing the whole,maybe you misunderstood, give him a chancebullshit, I ghosted his creepy ass.Poof.” She flicks her fingers in the air like she’s tossing a pinch of glitter.
“Good. He didn’t deserve an explanation.”A bullet to the kneecaps, maybe, but not an explanation.
“By then I realized I had no business trying to date. Then my parents died…” Her voice trails off into sadness.
After a few seconds of silence, she taps her forehead. “I wanted to get right in the head. Be smarter. Before I let anyone in here.” She taps her chest.
Our pasts might be different, but the results share things in common. “You’re incredibly brave and smart.” I kiss her temple. “A lot of people keep repeating the same pattern over and over, expecting a different outcome.”
“Aunt Kimmy helped.” Her mouth curves into a fond smile. “She was a badass who didn’t take shit from anyone.”
“You definitely take after her.”
“I hope so. Before Libby came along, I used to spend my summers with Aunt Kimmy. I loved being around her so much.” She lets out a fond sigh. “She had men swarming around her like bees, begging her to marry them. But she always said it wasn’t worth ruining her peace.” She tilts her head as if remembering another important detail. “Funny, how all those men disappeared once she got sick.”
“What made you tell me now?” I ask.
Her eyes search my face. “I trust you.” She drops her gaze to the comforter, picking at a loose thread. “Do you remember the first time we met?”
“Yeah.” Couldn’t forget it if I wanted to. At Grinder’s request I’d already been watching Emily for a while. But the first time weofficiallymet was when I knocked on her door, looking for Serena. “I knew you were lying through your teeth about Serena staying here. But I admired how fiercely protective you were of your friend.”
