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Even though life was difficult, painful, even, after so many losses, I was privileged to not have to even entertainthatchoice. My options never came down to dance naked or be homeless. Strip off my clothes or put my sister in foster care.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“You don’t have to be sorry,” Dex says gently. “I understand your concerns.” He lets out a soft snort of laughter. “I think I’d be curious if itdidn’tbother you. But I don’t take pleasure in upsetting you.”
“I’m not upset. Just…surprised, I guess.”
“You mean, you didn’t Google everything about me right away?”
“No, I like to get my gossip the old-fashioned way. Besides, the last time I looked up info about the Lost Kings, it was terrifying.”
He shakes with laughter. “Really? Our PR must be suffering since Z moved downstate.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
He frowns as if he wants to explain in the right way. “We don’t necessarily care what civilians think of us, but we prefer to present a friendly image to the public so people leave us alone.”
“Huh.” I pull at a chunk of my hair, twirling it around my finger while I consider his words. The blonde he argued with earlier returns to my mind. “So who was the woman in the parking lot today?” I side-eye him. “Just so we’re clear, I’m not cool with you putting your penis in other women any time you get the urge. Even if you’re surrounded by pretty, naked women all night long.”
Dex snorts and glances toward the front door. “Is that what you think? I’m a sleaze who sleeps with his employees?”
“No, but come on. You’re eyeballs deep in lady gardens all night long—”
He chokes on a laugh. “Lady gardens?”
I ignore the question and continue my thought. “I can’t be the only woman you’ve ever dated who had…concernsabout your job?”
Something in the air between us changes. He blinks and stares. No words. What in the hell? This big, strong man who doesn’t ever seem rattled by anything suddenly looks like a deer caught in the headlights.
“Youhavedated other women since your wife died, right?” I ask slowly.
“Not really.” His steady blue gaze drills into me as if daring me to doubt him.
“I’m the…”
“First one who made me forget—” He winces. “And reminded me thatI’mstill alive.”
CHAPTERTWENTY-SIX
Dex
“Oh,”Emily breathes out. “Oh wow.”
Fuck, why’d I have to get so raw with her? This woman has a skill for making me admit things I’d rather not think about, let alone say out loud.
But the words are out now. They’re true. And I’m not taking them back. No matter how much guilt wraps around my throat.
“Does that bother you?” I ask in a tight voice.
“No. Not at all.” She leans forward and touches my cheek. Her thumb grazes my chin, but she’s careful not to touch my split lip. “I haven’t seriouslydatedanyone since…well, it doesn’t matter. I made a commitment to raising Libby and sending her off to college. Figured I’d worry about a serious relationship after that.”
Respect for what a strong woman she is grips me, followed by the fear of losing her. “So, I’m two years early, is what you’re saying?”
“Are we…serious?” Her voice trembles ever so slightly. And it’s not lost on me that she didn’t answer the question. “This is more than a fling?”
The wordflingslaps me in the face.
I curl my hand around hers, rubbing my thumb over her knuckles. So soft. “Emily, after the night I had, there’s no one else I’d go forty-five minutes out of my way to see.”
