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Just when the surface level emotions are clear enough, and my mind tunes in further to his aura, to go a little deeper, it cuts off. His aura is blank once more, not even a hint that it happened at all.
“Woah.” That’s all I can manage, my mouth hanging open as I try to process what just happened. His hand stays on mine and I let it, warmth emanating from our touch. “Why do you hide it all the time?”
“I don’t hide it. I just put it away to keep my mind clear.”
“I guess.”
“The only person who would think I’m hiding it is you.”
“Ouch.”
“No. Not in that way.” He sighs, the first real sign that he might actually be a human and not the emotionless robot he appears to be. “If you weren’t psychic, and I just did that, would you have even noticed anything at all?”
“Well…no.”
“The reason I lock it away is because it’s easier to think logically and to react correctly to any given situation. It’s better for me and my job. So, the only person who can see whether my mind is clear is you. Understand?”
“Yes, I think so.” Maybe?
So…even if he never ‘kept his mind clear’ or locked down his aura, he would probably still be the same Ezra. Blunt, calm, and unaffected. Every normal person around him wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. He does it for himself.
And I’m the only one who knows.
Well, doesn’t that make me feel special.
The rest of the drive is quiet and contemplative and I can’t stop thinking about the little piece of himself that Ezra just gave to me. He went out of his way to open up, even if just a little. Maybe it’s because of what just happened with my nana, or maybe it’s something else, but it did happen and I can’t help but feel just a little bit giddy about it all.
I now have a small piece of Ezra, something he doesn’t give to just anyone, and I want to hold onto it, treasure it, and keep it safe. It doesn’t help that I still get fucking butterflies whenever he’s around. He’s a certified badass, but he opened up to me. Me!
My head might just explode from how big it’s growing.
When we make it home, Ezra helps deposit me on the ground and walks me through the front door–my trusty trash pandas following close behind. Raised voices greet me from the direction of the kitchen, so I slowly go and place my cane in the corner of the room to give myself plenty of time to eavesdrop.
I never said I was a good person.
“You’re a fucking idiot!” Nic’s accented voice is shaking with the force of his fury and my insides clench in response.
So maybe I kind of like his attitude. Who knew?
“I’m the fucking idiot? Really? And you think it’s fucking smart to push her and push her until she inevitably runs? Probably right into the arms of her stalker. Is that the plan?”
I’ve never heard Kai sound so pissed, but my interest peaks when I realize they’re discussing me. I have no idea where Ezra went. He’s like a silent predator, always stalking around, waiting in the shadows ready to strike. I busy myself by pulling off my jacket and hanging it up before wiping down my sunglasses in procrastination.
“And you think jumping in her bed is going to…what? Fuck some sense into her? You going to make her spread her legs for you and hope to God she gets so addicted to your cock that she stops doing stupid shit?”
“Maybe I just actually like her, ever think of that? Maybe I want her around and there’s no ulterior motive. But you can’t possibly comprehend that, can you? You don’t let anyone in, even if you’re just as fucking infatuated as the rest of us.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Nic’s tone has gone quiet and deadly. He clips his words, his rage so strong it reaches me where I’m stuck in place by the door, no longer pretending I’m doing anything but listening in. Gizmo and Snitch stay by my feet, their little clawed hands grabbing at my jeans in a comforting way.
“I know a lot more than you fucking think. I’m not fucking stupid, Nic. I see the way you look at her because you know she can’t see you do it. I see the way you continue to smother yourself in constant anger just to throw her off, but it pops out. Literally. I think I’ve seen your fucking boner more than I’ve seen mine, and that’s saying something,” Kai taunts cruelly, his inability to stop poking the bear as bad as mine.
I wait for Nic’s response, holding my breath as if it will help me hear. When it comes, his voice is so quiet I have to strain and angle my head in their direction. “How about you stop focusing on my cock and instead focus on the matter at hand. She’s being stalked by some freak who’s not afraid to kill someone for touching her. And what do you do? You paint a nice, shiny target directly over your head as if daring him to come after you. You’re both fucking stupid and you don’t fucking think.”
A clicking stomp sounds from the kitchen and I jump in place, spinning to find something to busy myself with, or even just straight up flee back outside, but I’m too slow. The footsteps stop when they see me, my guilt probably plastered on my face, with two raccoons holding onto my pant legs for dear life.
I’m so smooth.
“I should have fucking known. Wicked can’t help but try to get into everyone’s shit, can she?” Nic’s question is obviously not directed at me, probably not even directed at anyone. It’s just a way for him to take me down a peg further by not speaking to me directly.
