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Was that why he’d asked her to become his nanny? Why he’d sought her out? Why he’d asked her to marry him?
“Jeanne,” he said, his voice low and even, his eyes never leaving Bella. “I think Bella and I need to talk in private.”
“Sure.” She sounded uncertain, as if the pressure in the room was set to explode at any moment. Moving with far less confident grace than usual, she left the sofa and circled around the room, giving Bella a wide berth.
The front door opened and closed.
Leaving Bella and Blake alone.
Twelve
“You knew?” Bella was shocked by how calm she sounded. “Why didn’t you say something?” When Blake didn’t answer her question immediately, she hit him with another. “Were you ever planning on telling me you knew? What would have happened when we had a second child and he looked exactly like Drew? Were you planning on ignoring that?”
“That’s a question both of us should answer, don’t you think?” Blake closed the distance until mere inches separated them. His voice lowered to a rumble. “Were you ever planning on telling me?”
Blood pounded in Bella’s ears. Her earlier dizziness returned. What was she going to say to make this right?
“I don’t know. Everything between us happened so fast. And then you proposed and…” Bella swayed forward and his arms came around her, a strong circle she never wanted to leave. “I was afraid I would lose you if I told you Drew was mine.”
Heavy silence followed her declaration. As she waited for Blake to decide whether to forgive her or send her packing, each second that ticked by was like another hole in the life raft that kept her from drowning.
“How long have you known?” she asked, muffling the question against his shoulder.
“A couple weeks.”
Before he proposed to her.
Although it made her whole body ache to do so, Bella pushed out of Blake’s arms. “That’s why you want to marry me. Not because you love me. You told Jeanne you just wanted a mother for Drew. His real mother. Marrying someone you love wasn’t in your plans.”
“I’m sorry you overheard that.”
But he wasn’t sorry he felt that way.
“How long were you planning on keeping up the charade?” Bella demanded. “Did you think I wouldn’t figure out eventually that ours wasn’t a real marriage?”
“I care for you. I’m not pretending. You shouldn’t be upset because I put Drew’s needs above my own—when you left after he was born, you did the exact same thing. No matter how much it hurt to walk away.”
“Does the thought of marrying me hurt?” Her voice sounded impossibly small, but it was hard speaking past the tightness in her throat and chest.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m thrilled that we’re going to be a family.”
“But you don’t love me.”
“Stop harping on that.”
“But it’s important to me. The reason I resisted having children for so long is that I was afraid to be trapped in a situation like my mother was. There were so many of us to take care of. There was never enough money. She seemed exhausted and worried all the time. I didn’t want that for myself. I refused ever to settle for less than what made me happy.”
“What are you saying?”
“That I now find myself trapped in an untenable situation. I can’t marry you knowing that you don’t love me, but I want more than anything to be Drew’s mother.”
“But you could marry me knowing that I will be forever faithful as well as grateful for the gift of Drew and any other children we might have.”
Grateful?
Bella crossed her arms to ward off a sudden chill. Could she be happy with half a marriage? It was unrealistic to believe that anyone enjoyed a life of complete bliss, but for two short days she’d thought Blake loved her and she’d never been happier. Sure, she’d had a few concerns, but not when Blake held her in his arms. Not when she snuggled Drew.
“I need some time to think.”
She eased sideways in the direction of the stairs, tugging off the expensive ring as she went. As it came free of her finger, a burden seemed to lift off her shoulders. Marrying Blake had been a pipe dream. She’d been a fool to think he could love her. Now she’d never have to struggle to make herself acceptable to his friends or worry that they would believe she’d married him for his money.
Blake caught her wrist before she could set the ring down on a nearby table. His grip was firm, but not painful. “Keep the ring. It’s a symbol of how much I want us to be a family.”
