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“Squeaks.” Ezra’s deep, gravelly voice pierces through the storm like a lighthouse, beaconing me to safety. I falter slightly before steeling myself once more.
She deserves it. She deserves to be sent to hell. She took both of my dads away from me. She ruined everything!
“Look at me,” Ezra commands, his voice unyielding, and when Kai’s eyes snaps to him, I know he doesn’t mean with sight.
Like the pearly gates of Heaven have opened to accept me, his aura floods into the room. His warmth and love rapidly shoves aside the chaos, the whispered temptations of my bleeding heart. It billows outwards, wiping away the clouded storm of darkness and reaches towards me like the giant hands of God himself ready to hold me in his embrace.
There’s so much love and compassion–so much devotion and worship–all aimed at me. The strength of it smashes through the broken caverns in my soul, digging out the ridges and craters that Andy’s mania created. My arm wavers, my arm lowering an inch as a sob tears through my throat.
Nic and Kai’s auras start to strengthen, adding to Ezra’s mission, helping smooth the splintered edges. They burrow through my shredded soul, leaving behind pieces of themselves as they go, adding layer after layer of only themselves.
The gun clatters to the floor and I drop to my knees, succumbing to their safety and trusting in their love.
“No! You have to kill me! You have to kill me!” Andy screeches as footsteps bound down the basement stairs behind me.
“No. I don’t.”
* * *
Ezra squeezes my hand tighter as if he knows where my mind just went, the soft squeeze of my digits bringing me back to the present. It seems as if everyone has entered already and it’s time to move to our seats for the ceremony.
It’s all a blur from the moment I sit down. The minister speaks for what seems like ages, but I don’t mind. I just stare listlessly at the ornate coffin behind him, my heart clenching and pinching in my chest. It’s like I’m in shock. I feel the pain, I know it’s there, but it’s like I’m numbed to its strength.
“Wicked.” The whisper reaches me and I tune back in to see the minister standing off to the side of the podium, waiting.
Right. I guess it’s my turn to speak.
Ezra walks with me to the podium, not ever leaving my side. But I don’t use his sight to look at anyone in the crowd. I don’t want to see everyone looking at me. I don’t want to see their pitying gazes or tears. I don’t want to feel their pain as well as my own. I gaze at something in the distance.
Holding Ezra’s hand in a deathgrip, I open my mouth to speak, but forcing a sound past my lips at this moment is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
“I-” I choke as a rush of sadness swirls through my gut, nearly bringing me to my knees, but I clear my throat and swallow past the block in my throat.
Yet, still, nothing comes out and I’m sucked into a memory once more.
* * *
Flashing blue and red lights create a backdrop to the moment as Andy is dragged kicking and screaming into the back of a police cruiser. She won’t stop screaming my name. She won’t stop begging for death.
But we all ignore her.
“We found her stash of tools.” Bass joins us as we stand watching her dismantling and we look towards him. “Tactical vest, voice modulator, drugs, the metal piece. Hell, there were even weights to throw off footprints and shit.”
I’ve never heard Bass cuss before and it would almost be entertaining if the paramedics weren’t currently dragging a stretcher behind him. I see the white sheet start to emerge from the house and I let go of my connection with Kai.
I don’t want to see this.
“Let’s go.” I turn and try to leave, but a familiar shout has me turning back around.
* * *
“Izzy.” The voice has me focusing once more and Ezra’s eyes follow the sound to the voice. “You’ve got this.”
And that’s all I need.
I take a deep breath and press on.
“My nana was a crotchety, old, no boundary having crone.” I start with a crooked, only slightly broken smile as laughter rings out from the crowd.
