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Natalie
“Do you think the twins share women?” I ask, studying the two of them across the room at the bar as they laugh at something Decker said.
Cara looks up from playing her shot and laughs. “You are not the first woman to wonder that, and I’m sure you’re not going to be the last.”
They are both extremely attractive men, but there’s something about Atlas, although I can’t put my finger on it. They’re practically identical. Kind of like those Olsen twins. Neither Atlas nor Aries is my type, of course, but I can still appreciate a man, or men in this case, with good looks and style.
“He keeps looking over at you,” my sister says, grinning as she watches me take my shot and sink a ball.
“How do you know it’s me he’s looking at?” I ask, arching my brow.
“Because Decker hasn’t punched him in the face yet.”
We both burst out laughing, which has all the men glancing over at us, curious.
“Men are so easy,” I mutter to myself. I look over at Atlas and do find him watching me, except he seems to have a little scowl playing on his lips. What’s his deal?
“You didn’t even ask which one was staring at you.” She smirks, and she’s right.
“I didn’t have to ask.” Yeah, Aries hit on me, but he’s let that go. Atlas, however, has been watching me all night and I don’t know how to feel about it.
“He’s much better than Cole.”
I roll my eyes. “You’d say that about anyone. And since when are you Team Biker? You got rid of yours for a cop.”
Cara’s jaw drops. “Ex-cop! And I did not get rid of Rhett. It was more the other way around, if we’re going to be honest about it.”
I’m not going to lie, I was devastated when the two of them broke up. They were childhood sweethearts, and I grew up with Rhett as my big brother. But I can now see that it was for the best. Some people you are only meant to love for certain chapters of your life.
“You know what I mean,” I reply, waving her away. Cara and I have always been close, and we always will be, but I sometimes feel like I need to be the “Natty” she expects me to be. I look up to her as my big sister, and pretty much idolized her when I was little. I never want to disappoint her and as a result, I don’t share everything with her out of fear that she won’t like what she sees. I don’t even tell her that I hate being called Natty. It makes me feel like a five-year-old. Don’t get me wrong, she’s my rock, and has been there for me since the day I was born. I love her unconditionally, and I know she feels the same. As I get older, though, I’m beginning to realize she doesn’t know me as well as she thinks she does, and it’s my own fault.
“I am not attracted to bikers. It feels wrong.” I shiver just thinking about kissing one of the men I grew up with. Gross.
“Please, didn’t you always have a crush on a prospect?”
I give her a shove. “They were the only men I ever was surrounded by. Who else could I crush on? Besides, I want my life to be about me. I don’t want to be consumed by the lifestyle.”
“Your life will be about you and your partner no matter who you end up with—”
“Yes, but it won’t be about who’s been shot, or it won’t include me having to walk around with a babysitter because I’m constantly in danger,” I grumble.
Cara sits down and studies me, ignoring the game. “That’s your life no matter what, and you know that. We’re on high alert right now, and you aren’t dating a biker. This is your world, too.”
I hate that she’s right. “Yeah, but being an old lady will only amplify that tenfold. I’m already working with Faye as the lawyer for the Wind Dragons and that is more than enough biker to deal with. Maybe when I go home to a nice businessman on the right side of the law, it will be like a breath of fresh air.”
“The worlds will get mixed, Natty, and you know that. Just look at Decker. He’s on the right side of the law, yet he’s still doing shit for the MC because that’s our family. And family helps family.”
I know she’s right, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try to find my little slice of peace for myself. I want to come home after work and be able to chill out with my man, have our own little world, and not step into a clubhouse with people everywhere. I love my family, and I had a great childhood, but it wasn’t a normal one. Other children weren’t told they had to train in self-defense for their own safety. Most other teens weren’t shown how to proficiently use guns, or how to hide if the cops ever showed up. My life has always been filled with love, and loyalty, but it’s also always been full of chaos.
I’m over the chaos.
I want peace.
And I don’t think I’m going to find that with a biker.
I just want a loving, healthy relationship with someone who is obsessed with me, and doesn’t have a wandering eye. Someone who supports my career, and knows how important it is to me, and someone who can pull me out of my shell a little, and remind me to have fun. I can be a little uptight sometimes, and a bit of a workaholic.
I need someone who will balance that out.
