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A sharp pain pierces my heart just thinking about them…Him. Maybe that’s what’s making me funky today. It’s not like I even want him anymore. I mean, he’s happy with Julianna.
God, I need to get laid.
That’s my problem.
I need to put a body between us. Meaning, I need more than my vibrator to get me off.
A guy from a group of construction workers stares up at me. “Hey, can we get our check?”
I reach into my apron for the bunch of checks inside and slap theirs on the table, not even saying thank you.
If my bestie, Charlie, wasn’t home with her new baby, I would have called in sick today. As it is, I need to suck it up.
Suck it up.
Yeah, right. I’m ready to lose it. In the grand scheme of things, would a couple Valiums hurt? All it would do is help me to not murder someone.
I glance over at Joy who is like a machine. She’s got a pot of coffee in one hand and in the other, she’s holding a pitcher of water. She’s smiling, laughing—I want to be Joy.
I take a deep breath and make my way over tothetable.
Edge, Axel, and Ryder are talking while they wait for me. God, it’s annoying how hot they are.
Edge, with his auburn hair and blue eyes, Axel looking like a male model even with his tattoos, and Ryder… Don’t get me started on Ryder.
My eyes scan the table and I notice that they have their drinks already. Did Joy take their order and spare me from this nightmare?
“Hey, Cindy.” Edge looks over at me.
I smile but it’s forced, and I feel my left eye twitch as Ryder turns and frowns at me.
Perfect.
“Did Joy take your order?” I ask, ignoring Ryder completely as well as that fucking tingle that goes through me.
“No,” they say at once.
Of course not! Life couldn’t be kind to me today.
Before I can ask what they want, though, I get distracted by the next table.
A woman who looks as if she’s having the same sort of day I am stands and jabs a finger in the air at her boyfriend. Not going to lie, he seems like a loser with his stupid grin, acting as if she’s the crazy one…
Feel like a big man? Making your girl lose her shit?Jerk.
“You fucking dick. I saw the text,” the woman screams, and I take another deep breath, holding up my hand at the guys in apology as I move to the couple's table.
“Hi.” I give her a smile that says, “I know men suck. We’re sisters in that fight,” then proceed with, “You two need to take this outside.” Neither acknowledge me.
Seeing the tears streaming down the poor woman’s face, the urge to hug her is real because I’ve been there.
God, I feel her pain.
I feel it now.
The fantastic thing about being able to take my pills—I was always calm. Okay, maybe a little too calm, but at least it felt like a warm blanket cocooned me. Instead, without the pills, I have to deal with the harsh reality of the coldness in another person’s eyes.I have to feel raw and vulnerable and like I could cry in sympathy for the woman whose douche boyfriend has brought her to the level where she’s humiliating herself in a packed diner.
When you’re high, you’re numb, so all these real-life emotions just bounce off you…
