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“Is that what you think, Viviana? You think that you can wear me down, then break me?”
I’d batted my eyes at him and smirked.“I don’t just think that, Naz. I know it.”
He’d growled, then spent the next several hours forcing me to come so many times that I still ached in places I didn’t think I could ache. Thank fuck for all those machines I used to train with. Nazario thought he broke me by the time I begged him to finish me off. I had meant, sexually. The man was a fucking god in the sheets, so of course he had the upper hand in destroying me there. It was every place else that he’d have a hell of a harder battle. He could break me down physically, but never mentally.
I just wished my body was as strong as my will. I trained it to withstand anything done to it, but I must’ve skipped the parts about mafia dons with sculpted abs, a wicked tongue, large cock, and multicolored eyes that drew me to him night after pathetic night. I once spent days getting fucked by multiple men, and sometimes at once, but not even they could make my body fly the way my nemesis did.
I stretched my languorous limbs which were still sore from last night and sat up in my bed. My head began to swim, and I chalked it up to rising too fast. I steadied myself by placing my palms on the mattress and sat there for a few seconds as I tried to get rid of the dizziness. As I sat there thinking back to how long it had been since the last bout, I realized it had only been the day before.
“Ugh,” I groaned out, and even the sound hurt my ears.
I rubbed my temples to alleviate the ache trying to settle inside. Besides my head, my back also slightly cramped, but that could also be attributed to the sex I’d been having with Nazario. The man was insatiable, but most beasts were, from what I have seen over the years. He was no different a monster than any other I had come into contact with over the last decade. The only difference between them and him was that I had agreed to become his wife.
I wanted to think it was in name alone, and that he would leave me to my own devices, but I doubted that’d be the case. Some days, that realization thrilled and excited me, while on others, it simply made me even more angry. How could I be so happy to see the very man who stole the only thing I had wanted in this world?
And, it wasn’t one-sided. I doubted he even liked me, much less anything else. The only time we seemed to be on the same page was when we were in each other’s arms. I let out a sigh as I thought about them. They possessed such strength and power, but when they wrapped me around me at night, I didn’t feel fear. I felt cherished and safe, which was something I hadn’t felt since before I left for New York City with Donna that fateful summer.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t get to kill that bastard,” I told my friend knowing she was somewhere up there watching down on me. I’d like to think we would one day meet again, but the truth was that I had done too much to ever earn a ticket there. No, I was going to hell with my tormentors, and one day when we were all together, we’d live miserably ever after like we had until Stefano was murdered.
I wanted to think Donna would forgive me for not pulling the trigger myself. I closed my eyes and smiled as memories of the two of us from our youth came rushing back to me. We were just barely thirteen and a neighborhood bully had started to mess with us. I was usually an easy target due to my shyness and antisocial behavior. Donna threatened to tell her father, but I hadn’t wanted to talk or anything else. I raised my foot and kicked him right in the balls. He’d fallen to the ground and both of us had been shocked.
“You never think before you act,” she’d told me in an amused tone.
“I did what I had to do.”
Now, I was thinking back to the night of Stefano’s demise, and if I had been more like the old me, I would’ve had just stabbed him where his heart should’ve been and sent him on the one-way trip to hell. Instead, I tried to get cute and torture him. Now, my indecision would torment me long after because I made it too easy for Nazario to step in and finish what I’d started.
“You’re either a friend or an enemy, and darling, you’ve just chosen your side,”I’d told him, and his arrogant smirk flashed in front of my eyes.
“Get in my way, Nazario, and it’ll be your last fatal mistake. I am not about taking prisoners. I am collecting body bags.”Those had also been words he’d completely disregarded.
“You’re so fucking infuriating,” I cursed as I stood up and another wave of nausea rolled over me. It nearly made me sit back down, but if I did, I’d likely never get up, and I had things to do.
One of those was to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. The dizziness, fainting, and nausea were bad enough, but then there were the body aches and fatigue. If I didn’t know any better, I had fucked around and gotten knocked up. I was halfway across the room when I realized that might’ve actually happened. I tried to remember the last period I’d had, and it was before I moved into this godforsaken place. Leave it to me to further cement myself to these fucking goons.
A slight frisson of fear raced through me, and I was honestly worried. What if I had fucked up and allowed one of these men to impregnate me? Stefano would’ve been thrilled, but Nazario? He would be furious with me. We were to get married soon, but that was a simple title and not some multiyear commitment. I slapped my hand to my face. This couldn’t be what this was. I had to just be stressed out. A lot had happened since that last night with Stefano. I hadn’t been eating well or taking care of myself like I usually did.
By the time I threw on some clothes and left the house, I had convinced myself I was being paranoid. Still, I went straight to a store to buy a home pregnancy test. Nazario was going to kill me for sure. Hence, I decided to use a public restroom to take it versus going home to do it. I had nothing left to live for, or so I thought. After three minutes, my entire world came crashing down as I stared at the two lines in the small square.
“Cazzo!” I threw it in the trash, hoping as long as I didn’t acknowledge it, it wouldn’t be true.
I was wrong because I began to violently tremble as another bout of nausea passed over me. I emptied the non-existent contents of my stomach out, then stood in front of the mirror staring at my pale face. The bags under my eyes were fairly dark, although I knew what kept me up all night, or rather who. Now, I was sure something else entirely would do that. I stood there for several more minutes before finally splashing some cool water onto my face.
I eventually returned back to the estate and was thankful Nazario was nowhere to be found. I had to tell him tonight, even though it meant this could be my last one on this earth. He’d basically demanded I marry him in exchange for sparing my life, and why oh why had I agreed. If I would’ve just let him kill me right then and there, none of this would’ve happened. Of course, that meant things like last night, and so many others wouldn’t have happened either.
“Sei mio,”he’d told me the night of our official debut, and many others before that. Despite the hate I harbored for him, his words still made me feel some sort of way. I had once dreamed of a normal life, one in which I had a career, family, and the love of a man who would hold me and possessively tell me I was his every night. Nowhere in that fairytale had I been a recluse, shacked up with a mobster who told me that while holding me, but never meaning it because at the first infraction, I would end up dead in a dumpster like Donna had been found.
“Oh God, Donna. What am I going to do?” I asked aloud as I stood out on the balcony.
A slight breeze lifted my hair, and I liked to think it was a sign she was here with me.“You’ve gone and gotten yourself into something now, Viv,”I imagined her telling me.
“He’s going to kill me,” I told her as I conversed with nothing but the warm air around me.
“For what?” came a deep voice from behind me.
I spun around and tried to flash an innocent smile at Nazario. Damn, he looked good. He was wearing a dark T-shirt with black jeans. The material clung tightly to his muscles and I realized how much I needed those strong arms to wrap around me. He arched his brow, not buying my expression at all. I resorted to the only thing I could and glared.
“I’m having a private moment with my friend.”
