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“Are we still on for tonight?” I asked.
He nodded.
“What do you feel like doing?”
“Whatever you want,” he said, casting a look back over his shoulder. Not that there was anything to see.
“Why don’t I make you dinner?”
“Okay. What can I bring?”
“A bottle of red would be great,” I said. “Like a cabernet. Does seven o’clock work?”
“Sure.” He took a step closer, gaze filling with warmth. “We can eat first and then see what mood we’re in, sound good?”
“Very good.”
For a moment, he just stared at me. “You are very unexpected, Susie.”
“I thought I was inevitable.”
“That too. And one day, you’re going to agree to go on a date with me.”
My smile disappeared. “Lars, you do know me not wanting to date isn’t an indictment of you, right? I mean, have you seen yourself? And don’t get me wrong. I think you’re clever and capable along with being handsome. I’m just not ready.”
“It’s not me, it’s you?”
“Yes.”
He looked at me for a moment then reached past and opened the front door to the building. “I honestly didn’t mean to pressure you. Let’s talk about something else.”
“All right. When was the last time you lived on your own?” I asked.
“Guess it’s been four or five years.”
“That’s a while. It’ll be an adjustment. Having the space to yourself can be great. But not having anyone to talk to can get a little lonely.”
“I’ll be fine, Susie.” He gave me a half smile. It wasn’t very convincing. “I’m thinking of buying a houseboat at the marina. Someone I know through work is moving to Colorado and needs to sell.”
I raised a hand to shield my face from the afternoon sun. “A houseboat? Cool.”
“Yeah.” But he still didn’t seem exactly happy. He gripped the back of his neck. “It’s good that Tore and Cleo are moving in together. I hope it works out for them.”
I just smiled and waited. And it worked.
“You’re right, I’ll miss my brother, but...life goes on.”
“This is true. And it’s not like he’ll be far away.”
“Exactly.”
“You’ll be fine.”
“Yes,” he said. “I will be fine. Can we stop talking about feelings now?”
“Yes.” I grinned. “Thank you for sharing, Lars.”
* * *
By ten o’clock, I was pacing in my black knee-length sleeveless body con dress. My wedges made a satisfying sound against the wood, a nice, angry smacking noise that soothed my soul. Because there’d been no sign of the man. No call, no text. I tried phoning and got his voice mail. I did not leave a message. My emotions had run the gamut from fury to fear and back again. Where the hell was he?
I’d snuffed out the candles when they started to burn down and the risotto I’d made for dinner had probably dried out. I hope he had a good excuse. No. He would have. Lars wasn’t the type to just let me down. Though it was hard to convince myself of that after three hours of waiting and thirty years’ worth of bad experiences. This was exactly why I didn’t want to date. Hurt made you take a step back from the world for your own protection. But there was nil distance between me and my burgeoning feelings for this man now. Dammit.
Maybe he changed his mind about our friends-with-benefits situation. Maybe he had car trouble. And his cell broke so of course he couldn’t call. Oh, no. Maybe he was sick. Though he’d been the picture of good health today. Whatever. I would trust in our friendship. There was bound to be a perfectly rational explanation. Fingers crossed.
The woman I’d like to be would have kicked off her heels, poured herself a glass of wine, and settled down in front of a good movie. Bid adieu to anxiety and made the night enjoyable all on her own. She didn’t need no man. She didn’t need anyone. That girl could slay dragons (emotional and otherwise) all on her own. Meanwhile, I kept pacing.
Kat bravely hid under the couch twitching her tail. All of my clomping back and forth did not please her.
My phone buzzed in my hand and I jumped. “Hello?”
“Susie,” Cleo said. “Don’t freak, but there’s been an accident.”
* * *
The emergency ward on Saturday night was bedlam. Machines beeping, people talking too loudly, a drunkard yelling, and people moaning in pain. And beneath it all was the sound of his voice behind a curtained-off bed in the corner. Thank God. Perhaps now my heart could calm the fuck down. It had been on the edge of either an attack or a break for the past half hour. The drive from home had been one of the longest of my life. My hands had gripped the wheel so tight my fingers started cramping.
The overwhelming scent of disinfectant didn’t help. Last time I’d been in one of these places I’d been identifying Aunt Susan’s body. An experience both horrible and horrifying. But Lars wasn’t going to die. There would be no sudden second phone call to tell me he’d taken a turn for the worse. Everything was fine. Cleo had said she and Tore could handle it, but I needed to see him. To know that he was okay. And him asking for me just reinforced my need to be there.
