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“Honey, I don’t know her. How can I not like someone I don’t know? I just thought you’d settle with some sweet Southern girl who has the same values as us, not someone from a different world. But I’ve had to realize that’s not my choice, that’s yours. However, I was shocked today. It took me by surprise that’s all. Out of all my sons, I didn’t think you’d be the one to be in this situation right now. If anyone, I thought it’d be Jackson, honestly.”
That makes me laugh because she really has no idea. Jackson talks a big talk, but he doesn’t walk the walk. He’s a loose cannon on most days.
“I know, Mama. But I thought you’d be happy to hear I’m doing the right thing. We’re going to do this together and be a family, which strangely enough, is all I want. She came here to tell me she was pregnant and keeping the baby but didn’t expect anything from me, just thought I deserved to know. I begged her to move here so I could be involved. She’s leaving the only life she’s ever known to be with me because that’s the best chance we have of having something real.”
She blinks, taking in everything I’ve just said, and her shoulders visibly relax. “Do you love her?” she asks.
It takes me less than a second to respond. “Yes, Mama. I think I do.” Memories of us together flash through my mind. The way River’s face looks when she laughs and how pretty she is when she’s sleeping are all I can think about. I try to imagine my life without her in it, and it’s just not possible. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my life.”
The corner of her lips tilts up. “That’s good enough for me, son. Come here,” Mama says, setting the cake on the coffee table. She opens her arms, and I fall into them.
“I love you, Alex.”
“I love you, too, Mama. I always will.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
RIVER
Instead of taking a nap, I sit on the back porch and read for hours. In Texas, they seem to eat before five o’clock, and I hadn’t realized I was hungry until someone mentioned dinner was being served. Somehow, I clear a plate of pot roast and mashed potatoes like I haven’t eaten in weeks.
After dinner, I read until dark. I had to know what happened at the end of my book regardless of my eyes being tired. Not knowing what time Alex would return, I decide to crawl into bed for the night because I’m exhausted. I don’t know how long I’ve been sleeping when I wake to the door of my room slowly being cracked open. The moonlight streams through the window, and I’m groggy as I turn to see Alex walking inside.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he says, softly.
“Hi.” I barely get out. I hadn’t realized how damn tired I was till now. He doesn’t turn on the lights, but instead, he sets a Styrofoam box and plastic fork down on the small dresser next to the bed. As he steps closer, I can smell him. He smells like hay and leather all mixed with sweat, and it’s a scent I’d like to bottle up and bring back to Wisconsin with me.
“I’m going to take a shower if that’s okay,” he whispers close to my face, brushing the hair off my forehead and pressing a soft kiss there.
I nod, closing my eyes, and drift in and out of sleep as I hear the water run in the bathroom.
Just as I’m falling deeper into sleep, I feel him crawl into bed next to me. The warmth of his body from the shower feels good against my skin as our bodies mold together. He holds me like he’s never letting me go, and when his hand brushes against my stomach, I smile, then tense up when all the memories of us in bed flood in.
“I just want to hold you,” he says against the softness of my neck, and it feels like home. For the first time in months, I feel complete with Alex next to me, and that thought scares me. Whatever’s going on between us has to work. I want it to work, but the possibility of it not is still there. I push the thoughts out of my head, and when I hear the low sound of his heavy breathing, I know he’s asleep. It doesn’t take long for me to follow him to dreamland.
I wake up in the early morning and wonder if last night was all a dream because Alex is nowhere to be found. The Styrofoam box is still in place, so I know it wasn’t.
Checking the time, I realize breakfast is still being served and take the opportunity to go downstairs to get more of those delicious blueberry muffins. As soon as I see them, my mouth instantly waters. I grab two and sit in my favorite chair by the window.
