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Chapter 32
Drake
I don’t think I’ve suffered through anything more awkward than the drive to the Rio Grande National Forest.
I honestly thought Alex challenging Ugly would shut the man up, but of course it didn’t. How would either of us get so lucky?
Ugly continued harping on how there were other gay and bi men in Cerberus, and not a single person had an issue with it. That’s just par for the course I guess. A man who has never questioned or had his sexuality questioned would think it was easy to come to terms with one’s true self.
Just be, he said over and over, as if the repetition would make Alex just perk up and agree.
I wanted to tell Ugly to shut up. It became clear very early on that Ugly’s insistence to just beat and badger the subject caused increasing frustration with the man sitting in the passenger seat. My voice seemed to make matters worse, so I sat back, eyes closed, because it was the only way to keep from staring at him, internally begging him to heed what Ugly was saying.
Although it was a long shot that didn’t pan out by the time we pulled up to the parking area in front of a row of small cottages, I was a little disappointed not to have made eye contact with him even once during the ride.
I knew deep down, Ugly had lied when he told me that Alex wanted me to tag along.
The man I’m obsessed with would never go to someone else about us, but I wanted to believe it so badly that I didn’t question it much.
It was evident the second I pulled up that not only did he not ask me to come, by way of his friend, he wasn’t impressed with me being there at all. I saw the need to run in his eyes, but the scrutiny of those around him made him stay.
Alex doesn’t waste a second, climbing out of the SUV the moment we pull up.
His eyes are downcast, locked on his gear as he opens the back passenger door, wordlessly pulling his tent bag from the seat.
“Stubborn ass,” Ugly mutters before climbing out of the vehicle.
I sit in the seat, hands clenching in exasperation, but I can only hold so much of it inside. Unlucky for Ugly, Alex had me to my limits before today.
Seeing others drive up and park makes me calm my frustration some as I climb out of the SUV and head toward the back.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” I growl, my voice low as to not draw any attention to us.
“I was trying to help,” he mutters.
“It’s very possible you made things ten times worse. He isn’t the type of man to be confronted.”
Ugly busies himself, pulling gear from the back. “He needs to understand that no one cares.”
“You need to understand that he cares, and that’s all that matters. His struggle is internal. You and the other guys being okay with who he is doesn’t mean much when he isn’t okay with it yet.”
Ugly frowns as he turns to look in my direction.
“Just leave it alone,” I say, a real warning in my voice before he can argue again. “Playing matchmaker isn’t going to fucking work. You’re making things worse.”
I grab my duffel and borrowed tent and walk away. I didn’t have much hope that Alex and I would be able to work things out. Honestly, there’s a part of me that says to keep my distance. The man is clearly not in the same place I am, and going backward was something I promised myself I’d never do.
I probably should’ve stayed and helped Ugly unload everything, but my nerves are shot from the hours spent in the vehicle with Alex. I wanted to reach out for him. Hell, I wanted to have Ugly pull over and get into a different vehicle so Alex and I could talk, knowing he’d never say a word in front of an audience. Hell, getting him to speak when he’s annoyed while we’re alone is like pulling teeth.
Other people are milling around, some heading into the small cabins, others picking out their spot to set up their tents.
Alex, of course, has picked a spot as far away as humanly possible to still be considered part of the group. No one questions him, and no one starts to set up near him to help him be included. I can’t help but wonder how grumpy he’s been lately for them to keep their distance.
Harley and Alyssa head into one of the cabins, their little girl, Aria, toddling behind them with the cutest llama head backpack strapped to her back. The thing is nearly almost as big as she is, and I chuckle when Harley has to palm the back of her head to keep her from falling backward when she climbs the two steps due to the weight of the thing.
