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It doesn’t help that he’s become more intimate in recent months. Unlike in the past when it was clear that we were strictly using each other, now, he lies beside me, and sometimes falls asleep. While holding me to him.
My favorite time of the day is sleeping in his arms, listening to his heartbeat, and being surrounded by his warmth. And maybe I’m thinking too much, but I want to believe that there’s more to us now.
He even made me give him a pet name that I rarely use, because it’s just too embarrassing.
So now, whenever he’s teasing or being casual, I find myself reacting sentimentally and out of character.
“I really am,” I say defensively.
“You couldn’t be relaxed to save your life.” He pats my shoulder, and although it’s a simple, innocent gesture that he’d do to anyone else, I can’t help the temperature that rises throughout my body.
“That’s not true.”
“You still act like a soldier outside the army, Sasha. Maybe we should get into the sauna later and relax those muscles.”
I don’t miss the way he stresses the word muscles, and I can’t help thinking about the first time he touched me in that sauna and how he devoured me alive until I fainted.
“Stop it,” I hiss under my breath.
“What? You do need some relaxation.”
“I’m afraid your methods only add tension.”
He steps closer to my side, and I inhale his cedar scent. When he speaks in low, dark words, my whole body trembles. “Is that why you were asking for more while you were bouncing on my cock last night?”
“Kirill!”
He pushes back, his expression entirely nonchalant, which can’t be said about my heated cheeks. “What?”
Rai comes out of the house, followed by her two guards, and physically barges between him and me, a hand to her hip. “You’re an asshole, that’s what. Leave Sasha alone.”
I clear my throat and rub the back of my neck. Ever since we were kidnapped together, Rai has been trying to convince me to leave Kirill and become her guard, because, in her mind, not only does he not deserve me, but he also doesn’t know how to treat me.
She was also the one who told me about what Kirill planned to do with her sister. Thankfully, she promised not to threaten him about his sexuality or reveal my gender, and the whole thing blew over—or I hope it did.
“His name is Aleksander,” Kirill says in a hard tone, all his humor vanishing in a split second. “And you have no business telling me what to do with what belongs to me.”
“Sasha is a person, so you better treat him as such, or I’ll claw your eyes out.”
“I’d like to see you try.”
“I’m not joking, Kirill.”
“Neither am I. Now, step away from me before I blow your head off.”
“What if I say no?”
“Miss.” I smile and stand in front of her. “It’s nothing, really.”
She faces me with a soft expression. Rai has certainly changed her tone with me ever since she saw my vagina. But then again, she was always the women’s advocate in this man-centered organization.
“How could it be nothing? Your face was red just now. Was he scolding you? Giving you a hard time?”
Shit. “No, no, it’s not like that—”
“What if I was?” Kirill cuts me off and speaks in his closed-off tone. “I’m warning you, Rai, get your nose out of my and Aleksander’s business, or you’ll regret it.”
“Show me your worst. If I catch you abusing Sasha again, I’ll deal with you.” Then she flips her hair in a pure diva move and leaves, the sound of her heels echoing behind her.
“I’m going to fucking kill her,” Kirill announces casually.
“Please don’t.”
“Are you defending her?”
“No. I’m just saying that she…means well.”
“Fuck that.” He strides toward the car. “We’re going to the club.”
Ah, damn.
How will I convince him to go home now? I check my phone and wince when I find ten missed calls and fifteen texts from Karina. There’s even a text from Anna with a picture of the dining room that she decorated herself.
Okay, desperate times, I guess.
I run in Kirill’s direction, then yelp and throw myself down the stairs leading to the circular driveway. I roll down several flights and use my hands to protect my head. The thud is much stronger than I anticipated as I lie on my side at the bottom.
Maksim runs toward me. “Fuck, Sasha! You okay?”
As he helps me sit up, Kirill starts to push him, then stops. Because Yuri, Viktor, and a few of our and the Pakhan’s men are watching the show.
A muscle tightens in his jaw, but he thrusts both his hands into his pockets. “What the fuck happened?”
“I…fell down the stairs,” I offer from between clenched teeth because my side and the back of my thigh hurt like hell.
“Who pushed you?”
