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That’s right. I’m going to let myself fall. I’m going to let it happen. I can feel it already, more flowers bursting in my heart garden. One day, I know it’s going to be a spectacular array of colors. I refuse to accept the truth of anything else. I’m tough, and I’ve always picked myself up. I’ll always have my dad and the brothers, and I know Ransom will always be a part of my life, no matter what our future holds. I have to have faith in that, even if I’m not so good with the faith stuff.
“Maybe our moms weren’t superheroes, but I know they had their own story, and their leaving us made us the people we are today.” Ransom’s huge hand with all those wonderful callouses sweeps over my head, smoothing my hair down. I love the sound of his rough, deep voice, all clogged up and thick with emotion. He’s not scared to let me hear it, and he’s not afraid to be so damn wonderful all around. “I have my family now, my brothers and Granny, and I have you. All the choices of all the people before us brought us here. All those people, whether we knew them or not, affected our lives, and now we’re the ones in that line.”
I gulp. Yes, we’re in that line. We’ve created a child, and he or she is steadily growing inside me: a son or a daughter. A person to raise, to love, to hope for, to teach; a person who will one day find a person who is just theirs, who they can also belong to, and that circle will start all over again. Not just a person but our person. He or she will be our son or daughter, and honestly, I know they’re going to change the world.
Every mother thinks so, but I just freaking know it.
Even if it means changing the world the way my dad has, with love and kindness, those are huge things the world obviously can always use more of, and even if all they did was love like crazy, I’d be damn proud as a parent.
“We’re in the present now.”
I plant a hand on Ransom’s chest, right over his steady heartbeat. I love that his faded gray T-shirt is warm from his body and how if I ran my hand down his jeans, I’d find them old and worn-in and deliciously soft. I love that I now know he’s rich in a way, but he’s only ever going to use the money for good—to do more good and put more of it into the world. I’m not sure if his granny will ask him to work again or how soon because I know his other brother is taking a break from work, and he made it sound like he is too, but even if he’s not taking down the baddies, he’ll find other ways to inject good into the universe.
He’s already injected a big huge pile of good into mine.
Right, I was saying something.
I tilt my head up and study Ransom’s face, falling into the sharp, handsome planes, adoring his five o’clock shadow even though it’s eleven in the morning, the crags and the crevices, and the big scar that runs down the length of his handsome features, bisecting them—a salute to his former life. Not only that but also those soft gray eyes of his that remind me of banked storm clouds. I love the rain, so to me, they’re the most beautiful eyes in the world.
I raise my palm and try to cup his cheek, but he turns and nuzzles my palm, kissing and licking it until I giggle at the tickle of his soft tongue, the beauty of his lips, and the abrasive scruff of his chin and cheeks. My thighs and lady biscuit burn when I think about him nuzzling that scruff elsewhere.
Suddenly, I have to clear my throat. Come on, stay on track. Just for a few minutes longer. Say what you need to say.
Say that you need his pokey stick in you.
Whoa, va-jay, get it together here. Seriously. Hold on for just a minute. Just one more minute.
Fine, ugh. Give your fine little speech, and let’s get to the good part. Parts. Party in the pants; party without pants. Very select parts—partying parts.
Okay, here it goes. I’m going to stop arguing with my inner hoo-ha voice and get on with it.
“We’re in the present now,” I say, caressing Ransom’s rough stubbled cheek like I’d planned before he distracted me, and then I distracted myself with a giant sex monologue. It’s like a group chat, only it’s me, my brain, and my va-jay. Go figure. “We’re looking forward, but I know you thought this would be a nice tribute, and it is. Thank you. Just. So much. I feel like it is Christmas right now because this is a gift I had no idea I needed.”
