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No, that wasn’t fair—it wasn’t like Sky’lar had done something he didn’t want, he admitted to himself—he’d wanted it all right. A hell of a lot more than he would have believed possible. It had been mutual all the way. And again, what did that say about him?
He still didn’t know.
They made their way from the Sacred Chamber. Sky’lar kept trying to catch his eye, but Torin couldn’t make himself meet her gaze. He’d sworn to himself that he would treat this experience like it was torture—something to get through—to endure. Instead, he’d fucking loved it—loved being taken like a female. What would the other Kindred warriors he worked with in the Elite Espionage Corps think of him if they ever found out?
Well, they wouldn’t find out—no one would ever know, he swore to himself.
But I’ll know, he thought and felt strange and shaky inside like he never had before. I’ll know and I’ll never forget it.
Never.
FORTY
SKY
Sky couldn’t understand what was wrong with the big Kindred. During their sexual sacrifice, she would have sworn that she was doing everything right. He had been so responsive—had given himself so completely.
The moment of orgasm which they had shared as she sank her phallus as deeply into him as possible and bitten him at the same time had been incredible and Torin had come more than any other male she’d ever fucked. Indeed, if the stone flooring hadn’t been so absorbent, there would have been a real mess to clean up.
It had been amazing—the most intense sexual encounter of her entire life. She’d even begun thinking that she didn’t want this to be the end of their time together. Maybe Torin could spend more time on Portex Three. Or she might even go with him to the Mother Ship, to meet others of her kind. They might not be so bad after all, despite what her mother had believed.
But as they walked along the curving stone corridors, those dreams were dying. Torin was moody and silent—withdrawn into himself and he wouldn’t tell her what the problem was. Sky could only assume she must have done something terribly wrong—something to hurt and offend him.
“Look,” she said at last, grabbing his arm and pulling him into a nearby alcove for some much-needed privacy. “I don’t know what I did to you, Torin, but I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about.” He looked away, not meeting her eyes.
“If there’s nothing to be sorry about then why are you so upset?” Sky demanded. “Why won’t you look at me or talk to me? What’s wrong?”
“I honestly don’t know, Darlin’.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not sure what to think about what just happened—what we just, uh, did together.”
“You seemed like you were enjoying it,” Sky pointed out.
“I did enjoy it—that’s what has me so fucking confused,” he growled. “Look—you know I’m an agent of the Kindred Elite Espionage Corps but do you know what that means?”
Silently, Sky shook her head. She wasn’t sure what the big Kindred was getting at but at least he was talking.
“It means I’ve been trained as an assassin,” Torin rumbled. “I’ve been trained to kill and I have killed—many times. I’ve also endured torture on several occasions but I’ve always been able to take my mind away—to think of something else while it was happening. I thought I’d be able to do that while you…while you took me. But I couldn’t.”
“Why would you equate having sex with torture?” Sky asked blankly. Every time she thought she was beginning to understand the big Kindred, he threw up a roadblock that stopped her cold, she thought.
“Because in my culture it’s the male that does the penetrating,” he said, frowning. “I thought what you did to me would hurt—but it didn’t. Or else, only a little at first. Then I fucking enjoyed it. Hell, it was the best sexual experience of my life!”
“Mine too,” Sky said earnestly. “It was amazing—we seemed to fit together so naturally!”
“But there was nothing natural about what we did,” Torin growled. “You strapped on a cock and fucked me with it and I gave it up for you like a female in heat!”
“We both enjoyed ourselves,” Sky pointed out. “In what way is that wrong or unnatural?”
“It just…makes me question myself,” Torin said heavily. “Everything about myself.”
Sky still thought he was being ridiculous, but she could see this was a serious issue with him. The sexual sacrifice they had performed together had caused him to question some things he had considered fundamental about himself. Mother of Serpents, were Mammalian males that hung up on who penetrated who? It seemed so, if what was going on with Torin was any indication.
“It’s like The Book Which Writes Itself told you,” she said quietly. “It said you would be changed by what we did.”
