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Everyone has done their best to make me feel at home. Hannah has given me an extra tunic and leggings, and another bigger gal named Steph has offered to do the same. Penny needs hers for her pregnancy, but promises to sit with me and show me how to make my own. Really, the women here have been lovely. The men, too. The problem is entirely in my head.
I wake up to another nightmare. This time, everyone wasn’t wearing my face. This time, my limbs were falling off because “a clone isn’t a real person.” I pant, staring at the ceiling and the hint of daylight peeking through the smoke hole.
R’jaal presses a kiss to my shoulder. “Another bad dream?”
“I’m okay,” I promise him, shoving my terror down. “Really.”
“Do you wish to tell me about it?”
I shake my head. I really don’t want to think about it at all. “I’m just so tired of them. I hate this.”
“I will talk to V’ronca and H’nah about a tea that will make you sleep better.” He kisses my shoulder again, and then moves up to my neck. “Perhaps T’ia. She learned herbs from one of the elders at Croatoan. She might know of something.”
“I can go talk to her. I’ve been meaning to say hello to Tia again.” I press up against him, drinking in his warmth and his solid presence.
“I can do it for you,” he reassures me. “Stay in and sleep.”
But no. Even now, the more I think about it, the more I decide I’m going to go find Tia and talk to her. See how she’s doing. Be proactive for a change. I’m tired of worrying, and hiding away from the world isn’t going to change it. If my limbs fall off, well, then my limbs fall off, right? But living in fear won’t make them stay on.
“I’m going to do it,” I tell him, sitting up. “Right now.”
Immediately, his tail curls around my waist and he drags me back down into the furs. “Right now?” One big hand cups my breast, gently pinching my nipple and sending a sizzling bolt of need between my thighs. “It is early yet.”
“Huh. So it is. What do you propose?” I keep my tone deliberately casual as I lie back against him, arching as he teases my breast, stroking the pointed nipple until it’s so aching that I pant with arousal.
“I have ideas,” R’jaal murmurs, and his hand slides between my thighs, his big fingers stroking along the seam of my pussy.
“Dirty…ideas?” I reach backward and dig my hand in his hair as he rubs tiny circles around my clit. “Do these ideas involve you stuffing your mate full of your cock until she’s screaming your name?”
He groans. “They do now.” He moves lower, pushing a finger inside me. “You are getting wet for me already.”
It’s because we’re still resonating, I want to tell him, because I’m broken. But I don’t say the words aloud. I’m going to change my thinking, starting today. “It’s because we’re still enjoying resonance.”
“I am enjoying it very much,” he purrs against me.
I am, too. I love resonating to him. I love when he touches me, and when he says filthy things to get me wet. He loves my pudgy belly and my jiggly thighs and I think he loves my smile most of all. He thinks I’m gorgeous and sexy and that he’s the luckiest guy ever to resonate to me, clone or not.
If he’s not sad about it, I can’t be sad about it either, right?
He works my pussy with his fingers, holding me against his chest and squeezing my breast as he makes me come. It doesn’t take long, because R’jaal is such an attentive lover that he’s homed in on exactly what gets me off. He knows that fingering me while brushing against my clit with his thumb and whispering dirty words in my ear sets me off like a firework.
“Listen to how wet you are for me,” he murmurs, and he chuckles when his fingers drive into my body again, producing a very slick sound that makes me cringe—and also turns me on like crazy. “Your cunt sucks on my fingers like it’s my cock—”
I whine, clinging to him as the orgasm takes hold of me. My nerve endings sing, the release surging, and by the time I come down, I’ve missed most of what he’s said due to the blood rushing in my ears. Panting, I tilt my face up for a kiss, and he nips at my lip, still hungry for his own release.
R’jaal always, always makes sure I come first.
“Get in the furs for me,” he tells me, his cock dragging against my leg. “Let me fill you up with my seed.”
I moan as he kisses me again, squeezing my breast. When he releases me, instead of sliding onto my back, I turn on my front, on hands and knees, and put my ass in the air. “Let’s do it this way,” I tell him. Not that there’s anything wrong with missionary, but I’m feeling a little extra frisky today. I want to blow his mind and I love this particular position. “It’ll let you get deeper into me, and you can hold my hips.”
