Page 42 of Toe the Line


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I hopped down from my stool and rushed over to the sink to wash my hands. I hadn’t intended to make eye contact with him again because I didn’t want him to notice my eyes. Then again, he was a little drunk, too, so not sure how perceptive he would be.

Then I felt his presence nearby.

“I have so many regrets,” he said from behind me.

I turned to face him and swallowed. “Regrets about what?”

He had chocolate cake on his face, but somehow he’d never looked hotter.

“Everything,” he whispered. “With you.” He paused. “What we did and what we didn’t do. The way that summer ended. Everything.”

“Why are you bringing this up now?”

“Because I’m fucking drunk, I guess. I don’t know.” He pulled on his hair. “You look so goddamn beautiful right now.” His eyes were hazy as he murmured, “It hurts to look at you.”

My tears felt ready to fall. I couldn’t let that happen. “Keep that shit to yourself,” I muttered.

“We never talk about it, Noelle. We talk about everything else except the massive elephant in the room—the things we did that summer, what almost happened before—”

“Stop.” I sniffled. “You’re only bringing it up because you’re drunk. This is not a healthy way to discuss anything.”

“Maybe.” Archie leaned against the center island and placed his head in his hands. He went silent for a long time. “You were with Shane for like…forever. I thought you were gonna marry that guy. And I thought you were happy. I never thought you’d break up with him.” He looked down at the floor. “I kept waiting and…”

Waiting? He was waiting for things to end between Shane and me?

“I’m sorry…” He shook his head. “You’re right. I need to stop.”

Nothing good could come of two people with a ton of unspoken baggage trying to work things out while drunk. I could’ve poured out all of my feelings. I could have chosen to complicate his already-complicated life—turned it into a goddamn soap opera. But I loved him too much. I loved him. So I wouldn’t do that.

“Goodnight, Archie. Get some sleep.”

I left him standing in the kitchen next to a chocolate cake that looked like it had been ravaged by wild animals.

Then I went to my room and cried myself to sleep.

• • •

After a quiet breakfast together the next morning, Archie and I waited for our respective rides to show up. We were flying out of different airports—him from Portland and me from a smaller, closer airport since my flight was only a commuter one back to New York.

From the road outside, we both took one last look at the beautiful house.

Archie finally broke the ice. “I apologize if I said anything weird or out of line last night. I drank too much. Everything is hazy this morning. I just remember feeling nostalgic and emotional. I’m sorry if I got carried away.”

My stomach twisted. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He nodded as his eyes lingered on mine. “You’ll be there, right?”

“Where?”

“The wedding. You’ll be there?”

Oh. The question felt like a jab to my heart. I took a deep breath. “Of course. I wouldn’t miss it.”

“That means the world to me.”

You mean the world to me, Archie. You really do. I know you’re gonna be an amazing dad. And I’m not going to stand in the way of that.

A car pulled up, and I received a text. A sinking feeling came over me. “That’s my ride.”

I didn’t want to leave him. I wanted to stay in this house forever, without a care in the world and go to the beach every night and then come home and fuck Archie’s brains out. In that perfect world, there would be no Mariah, no baby. Nothing but Archie and me and this island. Our happy place. I wanted to go back to that fateful day before everything changed.

I shook the delusional thoughts from my head. God, I was losing it. I lifted my hand. “Well…bye.”

Archie’s eyes were red and a bit sunken, marring his beautiful face just a bit. I couldn’t remember the last time he’d looked so sad.

“Oh. I almost forgot…” He bent to take something out of his bag. “I sketched this of you last night.”

My heart filled with bitter joy as I looked it over. My hair was a mess, and I had smudges on my face. The caption read, Drunken Chocolate, AR.

“Holy shit. Is that what I looked like?”

“Yeah.” He laughed.

“I didn’t know you still drew.”

“I don’t typically.” He flashed a sad smile. “Anyway, it’s a snapshot of the grand finale of our weekend. I wanted to remember it.” He reached out to take it back. “I’m keeping this one, though, okay?”

When he took it, he also pulled me to him. My heart pummeled against his chest, and I knew he could likely feel it. If there were ever a moment that I’d blown my cover, it was now.

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