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“Nope.” Mairi tried to keep her tone cheerful as she turned around to face Drake. Hair still wet from a shower and dressed in a white wife beater that exposed his broad shoulders and biceps, the ex-sniper appeared like he had just stepped out of a sexy edition of Bed Bath & Beyond.
Taking the stool next to him, Mairi stared at Drake for a long time, willing for her breath to catch, her heart to race, her body to tense. Mairi willed herself to feel something – anything – for Drake Morrison. Just one sign, Mairi thought desperately, to prove that she had not completely lost herself in Damen. Again.
But there was none.
The despair on Mairi’s brown eyes had Drake frowning. His first instinct was to be gentle, a feeling prompted by guilt, but Drake knew that wasn’t really what Mairi needed right now. He also knew that even if it was, it had never been his role to give Mairi a shoulder to cry on.
That was Damen Leventis’ role...even if he was likely the reason Mairi’s gaze was dark with misery.
Drake slapped a couple of pancakes on his plate, giving Mairi time to speak. From the corner of his eyes, he watched her reach for a piece of toast and munch on it. He said brusquely, “Pretending to be strong doesn’t actually make you strong, Mairi.”
Mairi flinched, her half-eaten toast falling from her fingers to her plate.
When she still didn’t speak, Drake swung his seat sideways so he could take a good look at her. “I taught you better than that, don’t you think?”
Yes, he did, Mairi acknowledged painfully, but sometimes it was just easier to fall back on old habits and keep pretending. Lowering her gaze to the table, she concentrated on picking the crumbs that had fallen off her plate. In a light voice, she said, “Damen left early for a meeting today.”
“And you’re upset because he wasn’t able to eat breakfast in bed with you?”
“I called Barry, his secretary, and he says there wasn’t any meeting penciled in Damen’s schedule.”
“It could have been unplanned.”
“He asked me how he looked in his new suit. He never does that.”
“Maybe he finally realized he’s not as good looking as he thinks he is?”
A choked laugh escaped Mairi, the sound hiding the trail of tears on her cheeks.
Drake cursed. “Mairi—-”
She shook her head vigorously. “I’m okay.” Mairi unconsciously placed a protective hand on her tummy, where her unborn child rested. “I just...” Her shoulders lifted in an awkward shrug, and she gave Drake an embarrassed smile. “I thought I could do this, you know? Be with Damen while pretending I don’t love him? I thought I could control it because now I knew what I was getting myself into. But it didn’t happen that way. I just...I just fell in love with him more, and I don’t think that’s right.”
Mairi willed her voice not to shake as she continued, “I think Damen’s about to have an affair with Alina Kokinos.”
Her words stunned Drake. “Mairi, you know I’m not exactly your husband’s greatest fan, but—-”
She cut him off, saying softly, “I don’t think he’s been unfaithful to me. I don’t think he ever will be, but...” Mairi choked, throat clogged with sobs she didn’t want to come out. “I love him too much to keep him with me if he no longer wants me, Drake. You understand, don’t you? If...if Paige loves someone else, even if it’s someone you don’t like for her, you’d end up letting her go, won’t you? Because you love her.”
The look on her face killed him, but it was her words that rendered Drake frustrated with his impotence because everything she said was true. Drake wanted to reach for Mairi, but he knew that was one thing he could never ever do. He had crossed that line once, and even now, they were still paying for its consequences.
The problem with the two of them, Drake thought harshly, was that they only knew how to be selfish for the wrong reasons. Another person might have advised Mairi right now to fight for her love and for the right to keep her husband and the father of her unborn child. But he was not another person. He and Mairi were the same, and it was always all or nothing for them.
“Drake?”
His fists clenched at the trembling in Mairi’s voice. “Yeah?” She was one of the nicest and gentlest persons he knew, and it killed him to hear her hurting like this.
“Could you find out where Damen is?” Her eyes were bright with unshed tears, and they matched the determinedly brave smile that curved on her lips. “I just want to know...I just want to see...if he’s really with her.”
“And if he is?”
She said simply, “Then I have to go.” She saw Drake’s gaze lower to her belly, and her hand tightened around it, the instinct to protect her child coming to Mairi naturally. “We’ll be okay. I don’t think it’s good for the baby if I stay. If I did, my baby might see me breaking day by day and that’s gonna happen if I don’t...”
