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“Still. You’re family and if you want to be at home, you should be here.”
I smiled and shook my head even though she couldn’t see.
“I know and I love you. But I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you, or Charlie, or Jameson, and it was my fault.”
“Oh, honey,” she whispered, fear and reality twisting inside of her. “Don’t ever think like that. We’re here for you. Always.”
“I know.” I was no longer a child, and I couldn’t keep thinking like one. Running home to Max and getting the Reckless Bastards mixed up in this was something I didn’t want to do. I was a grown damn woman, making my own decisions. Making the smart decision, even when it was hard.
“If I change my mind, you’ll be my first call.”
The air between the phones relaxed and my shoulders slumped forward as a breath rushed out of Jana.
“It better be. This man, Virgil, he’s treating you right?”
“He is.”
I didn’t know what it meant or if it meant anything, I just knew that I was grateful.
“Make sure it stays that way,” she said, her voice firm.
“Okay Jana.” There was no point arguing or telling her we weren’t there yet. Jana had her own story going in her mind and nothing I said would change it. “Talk to you soon, yeah?”
“Okay. Fine. If you need to talk, don’t hesitate to pick up the phone. I’m always here, Maze. Always.”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat and nodded.
“Thanks.”
That was the only word I managed to squeak out before tears threatened to overtake me, and I made my escape, hobbling through the nearby double glass doors and found a small garden between the main house and the adorable little guest house.
The English style garden was out of place but soothing with its tall grass and wildflowers. A variety of scents filled the air, instantly soothing my still-frazzled nerves. Slamming my eyes shut did nothing to quiet the storm inside my gut. My chest. It was nothing I couldn’t handle, but this little bit of heaven was definitely helping.
A lot.
“Gorgeous, isn’t it?” The capable alto belonged to Virgil’s sister Kat, so I nodded my agreement.
“Relaxing too,” I added because I didn’t want to be rude and because this place was doing wonders for my nerves. My erratic heartbeat and my racing thoughts.
“I hope you really do find it relaxing because you’ll need it.” I waited for the joking tone or the commiserative look but neither ever came. Kat was serious.
“I’m fine,” I reassured her, wondering if I would spend the rest of my life telling everyone I was fine when I wasn’t.
Kat shook her head, thick dark hair falling around her shoulders in a cascade of waves.
“You’re not fine and that’s perfectly all right. After all the shit you went through, you shouldn’t be fine and don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to be fine for them.”
She let out a sigh and a slightly amused smile. “I’m just saying to take the time you need. Even if you do by some stretch of the imagination, feel fine now, you won’t always. These things have a way of coming back. Again and again.”
Kat spoke like an authority that made me curious about what had given her such insight.
“Um, okay. Sure.”
She let out a sharp laugh and shook her head.
“I know. I’m kind of overbearing. My brothers tell me so all the time. It’s a hazard of being an Ashby and being the only girl in the family.”
Her words were filled with exasperation and affection, two emotions I was more than familiar with thanks to my own family.
“We have enough people in this family who bottle up their emotions and use unhealthy coping mechanisms, we don’t need another one.”
I shook my head and turned to her with a frown, ready to set Kat straight about the nature of my relationship with her brother, of which I wasn’t entirely sure.
But she shook her head in return. “Don’t bother. Virgil was gone half the night to make sure Rhymer is worm food. My guess is he’ll be at it again soon. My brothers and their employees, they are thorough. You’re important to him. So get used to it.”
I sighed and nodded, not because I believed her words but because I was too fucking tired to argue.
“Another thing to get used to,” I mumbled under my breath on a frustrated sigh. It wasn’t Kat’s fault. It was mine. My own fault for getting involved with a guy like Virgil. It was all too much. Too soon.
“Leave her alone, Kat.” Virgil’s deep growl sounded behind us and I wondered how long he’d been standing there. Listening.
“I’m just chatting with a new friend. Isn’t that right, Maisie?”
“Yep.”
“See?” She stuck her tongue out and pitched up on her tiptoes with a sneer and a laugh before leaving us alone.
