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“I love that,” said Krystal. “You’ve got a good one there, Monica.”
I smiled, feeling the heat in my cheeks. “I think so, too.”
ChapterNineteen
JAKE
Sitting on the back deck with Bryce and Phil, I just listened as Bryce and his dad talked. I’d always been envious of Bryce’s family, but hearing his dad give him marriage advice was a whole new level of awareness of just what I had missed out on.
“I tell you what, your mom and I have been married for forty years. That’s not to say we had it all figured out or that we didn’t have our disagreements. That long together, there’s been times it was tempting for both of us to focus on the negatives. It’s far too easy to spend time being upset about what the other didn’t do or didn’t say or didn’t provide. Turns out, that’s the biggest recipe for dissatisfaction and resentment. Don’t let it happen to you, Bryce.” Phil leaned back in his chair and looked out over the yard.
“I don’t remember you guys ever fighting very much,” Bryce said.
“When you were about six years old, I was working crazy hours and Mom was home with you kids. I would come home, tired and cranky. I would see all the things that hadn’t gotten done during the day. Dishes in the sink. Crumbs on the floor. Whatever.” He waved a hand. “It didn’t really matter. I ignored the fact that those dishes meant she had fixed you guys lunch and dinner. Or that the laundry that hadn’t gotten put away meant that Nancy had started and folded laundry. I was so caught up in little annoyances instead of seeing all the good things.
“Thankfully, she recognized what was happening and opened my eyes. I wasn’t trying to upset her. I was just focused on the wrong parts. When I chose to focus on all the wonderful things about being married to your mom, it was amazing how much that changed my heart. I remembered why I loved her. I was able to see just how much she was sacrificing for me and for you kids each day. People say they fall out of love? The fastest way to choke out love is to take the good things for granted and only offer criticism and unrealistic expectations in return.”
Every word from Phil felt like it was directed at me. Even though he was talking to Bryce about his own marriage, what I heard was exactly why I struggled so much with my dad. I’d never heard it explained so clearly, but that’s exactly what had happened to all of his relationships–with me, with mom. Even his own parents.
“It sounds too easy,” I said frankly. “That can’t be all there is to it.”
Phil laughed. “Well, no. There’s more, but if you share the same priorities and follow Jesus together, it is so much about your own selflessness and the choice to love the person you’re with. Of course, that commitment has to come from both sides.”
My mind immediately went to Nathan and Rebecca, wondering what had happened there. I knew Nathan. I thought he was a good man. Uptight, but good.
Maybe he needed a chat with Mr. Storm.
I also couldn’t help but wonder if, when push came to shove, I wouldn’t be the kind of man my father was, looking for the negative things instead of affirming the positives. Would I strangle the joy and love from my relationship with Monica the same way he had?
The thought of seeing Monica crying while fixing dinner the way I remembered my mom doing made me nauseated. How had my dad not cared that he hurt her so badly? He was supposed to love her. And hadn’t he, at one time?
“That’s good advice, Dad. Pastor Justin said something similar in our premarital counseling session.”
The door behind us opened, and Monica came out. She handed me a fresh drink and took the seat beside me.
“What are you all talking about out here?” she asked with a smile.
“Just getting relationship advice from your dad,” I said honestly. “I was just thinking I should go get a notebook and write it all down.” I was only partly joking.
Phil boomed a laugh.
“Well, inside it’s all wedding talk. I needed a bit of a break,” Monica said.
“Jake mentioned that you get to go back to work, Mon?” Bryce asked with interest.
She grinned. “Yes! I’m so excited. It’s just restricted duty right now, but I don’t even care. Anything to get back, you know?”
Bryce nodded. “I can’t imagine being off work for as long as you have. I’d probably drive these guys crazy just hanging at the station all the time anyway.”
I chuckled. “Isn’t that what you do now?”
“Not anymore! Chief said I’m not allowed,” he said with a slight pout.
“Not allowed what?” Krystal asked as she slipped out the patio door and joined us on the deck. Mrs. Storm was right behind her.
“He’s banned from the station unless he’s on shift. Apparently, he’s been missingsomeone importantor something,” I said, emphasizing the words to make it obvious I was talking about her.
Monica jumped in on the joke. “Oh weird. I can’t think of anyone important he’d be missing, can you?”
