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But the memory didn’t lie. I’d nearly lost everything because I couldn’t stop focusing on Jake. It’s like I was never going to learn my lesson. Only this time, the someone who nearly died was me.
With the thought came another memory. It was my boss, James, the emergency department manager, shaking his head and lecturing me about disappearing during my shift. I felt my shame fresh as though it were happening today. I remembered glancing at Jenna over his shoulder, her face streaked with tears. She’d made a mistake.
“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” I had said.
“It better not. You’re a great nurse, Monica. Whatever it is that has you distracted lately, you need to figure it out. Keep it out of my department, or I’ll remove you myself.”
And as I had the memory, I knew what had prompted the lecture. A few hours earlier, Jake and I had been kissing in the supply closet. I hadn’t been there when Jenna needed me.
I felt the weight of the mistake settle on my chest, and a new wave of doubt about our relationship hit me.
It took a while, but I finally got up the courage to start driving again, the entire time thinking about what I was going to do.
On one hand, I loved Jake and the way he made me feel. He was funny and sweet and made me smile. On the other hand, I hated the thought that I kept making mistakes because of the impact he had on me. Jake might be able to go through life with a carefree smile on his face, but I wasn’t that person.
And it was high time we both admitted it.
ChapterTwenty-Two
JAKE
My shift on Thursday was painfully slow. I always tried not to wish for excitement, because it meant people and property were in peril, but fourteen hours into a twenty-four-hour shift with no calls at all? I was starting to get a little bored.
I took the opportunity to drive Bryce a little crazy by filming a ridiculous video for social media, Matteo and I lip-syncing to a song that was making the rounds.
Monica finally texted me back around 10pm. I was proud of her for driving today, and my text in the afternoon had let her know how great she was doing. I was surprised it had taken her so long to reply.
MS: Can we grab coffee tomorrow morning?
When I tried to call her instead of texting back, she didn’t answer. Maybe she’d turned her phone off to go to bed.
JB: Sounds great. I should get off at 8. Bistro?
She didn’t respond until the morning, and I met her at the bistro as soon as the turnover meeting was over. Which didn’t take long since our zero-call streak continued for the rest of the shift. I watched her from inside as she walked over from her apartment, her hands in her pockets and a serious expression on her face.
When she stepped inside, the bell over the door chimed, and I stepped up to greet her, noticing the dark circles under her eyes.
“Hey,” I said softly. “Everything okay?” I tried to reach for her hand, but she left hers in her pockets.
She didn’t answer my question but nodded toward the counter instead. “Let’s get a drink first.”
I wasn’t sure why, but a knot settled deep in the pit of my stomach.
“Uh, sure. Yeah. Coffee sounds good.”
We grabbed our drinks at the counter and found a spot, the entire time my mind racing to figure out what could have happened to make Monica act so distant.
When we sat in the armchairs near the front window, a small table between us, I set down my mug and wrung my hands. I’d seen Monica in a lot of moods—tired, grumpy, nervous.
But this? This felt different.
“So, what’s up? How was your day at Bloom’s Farm, the excitement of driving aside?”
She gave the faintest smile. “The farm was good. The barn is going to be beautiful for the wedding. The driving was… unexpected.”
My brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t have all my memories back, of course, but more and more I’m finding that I can dig them out if I know where to start. Like… I have to build the bridge again, but the supports are still there.”
