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Bill nodded, understanding. Time was of the essence. He left without another word. Without looking back. Pretty sure he didn’t want me to see him crying. Which was correct. I couldn’t believe I was forcing Kevin’s best friend to put himself at risk like this. Bill Devander was a civilian; there were so many factors that could spin out of control, no matter how careful he was.
But now it was time to prepare to play the biggest wild card of all:
My dying body.
I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing as well as my training. In short: the mind-over-matter techniques I’d honed over the previous decade to give myself an edge over my opponents. In theory, your brain should be able to command your body to run and fight and leap and climb despite the injuries it has sustained. Gunshots, stab wounds, broken ribs, whatever. After all, your body was only dumb meat that responded to commands from the brain via the nervous system. The stronger the brain’s will, the further the dumb meat could be compelled to go.
That was the theory, anyway.
I tried to relax and fool my dumb meat into trusting that everything was normal, that my brain was in total control. Breathing slow and deep, taking in all of that sweet oxygen, expelling all of that awful carbon dioxide. In through my nose, and out my mouth. Oxygen-rich blood pumping through my veins.See, all is fine here. All systems go.
I don’t know how long I was in this regenerative state. I don’t know if my body was buying any of my mental BS. But I knew a considerable amount of time had to have elapsed, because all at once I heard them, shrill and ear-splitting.
The hospital alarms.
CHAPTER 16
GOOD JOB, BILL Devander. You came through for me.
Okay, dumb meat—you’re up next.
I pulled the IV out of my arm, swung my legs over the side of the hospital bed, and sat up. Which was my first mistake, because just like last time, all at once I felt the room defy the laws of physics and rotate in two different directions at once.
Okay, keep it calm—right this ship immediately.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Perception resides in the brain, and the brain is the boss,I reminded myself.
I stood up for the first time since I had crashed through the window of my honeymoon suite. The world threatened to tilt on its axis again, but I breathed in deep, clenched my fists, and all but dared the universe to pile any more misery on top of me right now.
That’s right, Universe. You took away the human being I loved most in this world, and then you tried to kill me, too. Are you honestly going to deny me the right to walk out of this hospital room on my own two feet? How much pain can you inflict on a single human being?
I took a step, and then another, and still another. The universe, as always, acted indifferent, as if it didn’t care whether I walked or fell over.
Good, Universe. You stay in your corner, I’ll keep to mine.
By the time I reached the doorway I realized everyone had scattered and left me unattended. I also realized I was on the verge of throwing up. The piercing alarms made me feel like the decibels themselves were drilling down deep into my skull. I could feel the rivulets of sweat running down my back from the effort, which under normal circumstances wouldn’t be much effort at all. The dumb meat of my body wasn’t as easily fooled as I’d thought.Whoa whoa whoa—you’re asking me to dowhat,now?
I stepped out of my room and turned my head to the left. The hallway seemed like it stretched into infinity. I checked the other direction, and it wasn’t much better. How was I supposed to travel such an impossibly long distance?
Breathe in, breathe out.
I flipped a coin in my head and went with the left, taking slow and steady steps as if this was perfectly normal, everything was fine. Nobody had noticed me… yet. Which was my only advantage at this point.
If Bill had called in that threat exactly as written, the medical and support staff would be in a frenzy, following a series of protocols to protect the integrity of the hospital in the face of a catastrophic attack. Checking in on little ol’ me wouldn’t be a high priority at this point. If you’re in a sinking ship, you try to patch the hole—not worry about individual passengers. I had maybe three or four minutes to slip through the cracks and leave this place.
As I moved down the hallway, the floor stabilized beneath my feet. This was progress. I was nowhere near free. But I was also not passed out on the floor in a pool of my own puke. You take your victories where you can find them.
I pushed through a door I assumed would take me to an exit. Instead, it was a nurses’ break room, with a coffee machine, a worn couch, and lockers. I realized this was even better. It was just what I needed. What had I been thinking, that I’d just stroll down the Alexanderplatz in nothing but a flimsy hospital gown, flashing my derriere all over town? I needed to change into something less conspicuous.
Dressing myself took a lot of coordination. But I managed to find a hospital scrub top adorned with a cartoon character I didn’t recognize—was it a German thing?—and slipped it over my head. I even located a pair of scrub pants that were roughly my size.I was unstoppable.
Which was of course the exact moment two Interpol agents burst into the break room.
“What are you doing out of your room, Miss Bell?”
CHAPTER 17
