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Spontaneity.
The word itself rang blissfully to my ears as I repeated it over and over again, but the harsh reality of my life sat in contrast to its meaning. I needed my best friend.
“Eve?” I asked, shifting my body toward hers as she mirrored my position. We sat across from one another now, and an inquisitive look laid on her brows.
“Hmm?” She hummed.
“Do you think it’s possible to fall for the wrong man at the right time?”
“I knew it!” Eve slammed her hand onto the hard wood floor, her wild eyes widened in excitement. “Also… what exactly do you mean?”
“Ok, ok, ok.” I lowered my hands at her to shush her yelps. “I guess what I mean is Robbie seemed like the perfect guy, we met during college, and we moved in together right after I graduated. The right time, but I can’t help this sinking feeling in my gut that tells me he might not be it.”
Eve squinted, scratching her head. “What makes him the wrong man? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I could just yell in excitement,” Eve paused, fists pumping in the air. She was never shy about showing her true feelings.
“Ok, but what if it’s wedding jitters? Maybe it's the fact that I envy your free spirit, Eve. I mean… look at you.” Eve surged up to her feet to twirl, showing off. “You’ve always been able to do whatever the hell you want.”
“And?” She asked as if it was the easiest thing to do.
“What do you mean ‘and’? I cannot do that.” I screeched out in fury over the sudden realization that I was not free. I was tied by a ball and chain already, and we’re not even fucking married.
“Why not leave the guy and be free?” Really? If only it were that easy.
“I’m serious. How do you have all this confidence? Do you suck up everyone’s around you? Cause that’ll explain why mine has been low lately.”
“Julia, you think this is easy for me?”
“Yes.” I rolled my eyes.
“Well, maybe it is for me. But you’ve got to be willing to not give a shit what others think. Just do whatever the hell you desire.” Eve stated so matter of fact.
Desire.
I’d had my head so far up my ass these last few years, I couldn’t muster up what I desired except being in the city.
“If it was that easy, then everyone would be on board the confidence train.”
“Tell me exactly what you envy about me.” She batted her long fake lashes.
“For Pete’s sake, now I know you’re pulling my leg. You just want to hear…”
“Uh huh.” She held out her hand to pull me up to my feet. “Tell me.” She twirled me in place.
“That’s just it. Your free spirit and confidence. Your lack of rules, boundaries, the usual.”
“Ah ha! That’s it. Rules. There are no rules in life, only the limiting ones you’ve set for yourself. Tell you what, I’ll teach you how to be more of a free spirit while you’re here, your last few days of being a single woman. Come on. Let’s get ready. We’re going out.”
I stared at the flashing digital clock behind Eve, 10:12 p.m. “Isn’t it a bit late now?”
“You just proved my point. Why do you think it’s late? Don’t you live in the city that literally never sleeps?” She smiled, “Besides, don’t you have a love bucket list or whatever? Doing something spontaneous in a bar, maybe with a super hot guy?”
Damn, she had a good point, and she was crazy to bring up my silly old list.An embarrassing low blow.
“You win.” I surrendered my hands in the air, continuing to dance alongside her, “But nothing too crazy!” I flashed my ring as she yanked me into her closet.
Lucky for me, I packed a couple cute dresses to go out in. My favorite emerald dress hit just past the knees. My number one professional look. I flung it out of my suitcase, and as I displayed it against my body, I heard Eve chuckling.
“That? You’re wearing that, Jules?”
