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“But nothing, Gemma! He saw something new happening inside of you, and now he wants it. Maybe he saw that you cared for me as much as I cared for you and that scared him. And it should because I care more than he ever will. And I was honest aboutthatfrom the beginning. Yes, I have my past; yes, it’s ugly, but goddamn it… I have always been honest about how I felt about you!” Alejandro slammed his fist on the table, creating a monstrous thud that echoed through the kitchen, causing me to flinch.

I stared around without moving my head, carefully observing the spilled tea that tipped to its side. Everything became so quiet.

“I’m not sure if that’s true. I’m not sure how he feels or how I feel,” I answered.

“About him or me?”

“About everything. I don’t know how I feel!”

“Well, this is how I feel,” he interrupted. “I have put myself out on the line, I made a commitment for the whole world to see. And now, to them, it’s a joke. It’s just another opportunity to smear my name, the one I barely just got to use. But ask me if I care. Ask me if I give a shit about what they’ll say. I won’t be ruined by a kiss—a kiss by the way that was so clearly stolen. Fuck, Gemma, let them have the gossip, they can keep it. I just want you, and I need to know that you’re still mine… just tell me that,” he asked, no longer warning, but begging.

My lip quivered, and before I could crawl into my shell, I spit out a thoughtless answer that satisfied nothing.

“It’s complicated,” I responded, giving a painful truth that sucked the light out of Alejandro’s eyes. He looked over at the cart, focusing on something else. Slowly, he reached for the bottle of tequila that rested on the tray, removing its top to pour a small width of amber gold into an accompanying glass.

“You’re right about one thing,” he took a quick shot. “It is complicated.”

I didn’t reply, and all of a sudden, it was me who lacked the courage to say what was needed. After how hurt he was, how distant he became last night, how could I do that to him again?

Alejandro stared at the bottle and the taunting congratulatory ribbon. “I still want to be honest. I’m not running,” he finally conceded.

“I want that too.”

“But not without its precautions,” he said, distracted again by my buzzing phone. Was it Parker? I was determined not to look, allowing it to sit there, to ignore it. Alejandro couldn’t. He burned a hole through the phone with a scowl, and if he could, he’d probably reach right through, asserting himself in the most profound way. He was deadly in that sense, powerful beyond what Parker may have even realized. “There is always a cost for fame… I told you this already. What I wanted to share with you could change my whole life… it could change how you see me.”

“You can trust me. Don’t let this moment ruin what we worked so hard to have.” I said as calmly and as sweetly as I could, doing anything in my power to make him feel safe.

He reached for the envelope on the tray, the one with Lina’s name on it, then passed it to me, “Gemma… open this up.”

“What is this?” I removed a small packet of papers, quickly scanning its header. “You can’t be serious,” I asked out loud.

“I think it’d be best.”

“An NDA?” I questioned, looking back down at the non-disclosure form in my hand. “Why now?”

“I can’t chance this. Not with the attention you’ll be getting. It was reckless of me to think it could be so simple. You and I…thisisn’t simple.”

“But you can trust me… isn’t that simple enough?”

“With the headlines about me, with all the backlash, we have to be careful. It protects you as much as it protects me.”

“How?” I asked, concerned that this NDA was more of a wall than a door. Was this the new us? A couple shielded by the protection of legal forces. It felt so formal.

“Last night was revealing to say the least. There are a lot of eyes on us now… and after what I saw, I need to know that my secret is safe.”

“Safe? As in… from me telling the news?”

“Don’t make it sound so nefarious, Gemma. I have to do this. I shouldn’t even be out tonight; the whole world is watching me, and Ivanna thinks I should take a step back. But I’m trusting my gut here.”

“Because you don’t trust me?”

“Because I don’t trust them,” he growled. “If they ever get anything out of you, even by accident… I need to be protected. Signing this assures that you are legally obligated to deny any rumors you hear about me. Anything you say could be refuted as a lie… one you will be legally obligated to admit.”

“But I would never say anything…” I told myself, as Alejandro rolled a pen towards my hand.

“Then you have nothing to worry about.” He shot back, wiping his hands free from what little breakfast he ate. “You can think about it, but we can’t talk about this now. There’s a lot to do, and I’m already rushed as it is. I have to meet Ivanna, collect my itinerary, and be debriefed on the press tour. The NDA can wait, but I do need to know if you’ve made a decision on L.A.” He looked up, pushing for an answer.

“I haven’t had a chance to—”

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