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I worried Alejandro’s silence stemmed from everything Parker accused him of, his reaction so painfully still that it made me want to disappear.
Parker continued, “Since you’re such a fucking savior, tell Gemma what happened. Tell her the truth about the girl from Belmont Hills.”
I stepped away from my chair, distancing myself from the dreaded mention of someone new; of the very shadow that had followed Alejandro and me since I mentioned him to Parker. This wasn’t just us anymore, this was bigger, this was a revelation, and it had a name: Natalie.
“Alejandro, what’s he talking about?” I asked horrified and confused.
Alejandro calmed himself into a single glare that Parker couldn’t replicate. He wasn’t as composed, garnering all the looks of the audience around us, Camilla included.
“You and I… we’re more alike than you even know, and maybe that’s why I dislike you so much. But right now, we couldn’t be further apart.” Alejandro drew a slow, collected breath, his face far more disappointed than anything else. “I don’t understand the choices you made, and you don’t understand mine… but I know we have to live with them. And for you, that means letting Gemma go. You had your chance with her, and now it’s over.”
“Ok. We’re done here!” I finally demanded, pushing them apart. I wanted to know the truth, but what I needed most right now was to get Alejandro and Parker away from each other as quickly as possible, even if that meant not getting the answers I wanted. Parker’s hands began to shake, watching catatonically as I reached for Alejandro. “We’re leaving…”
“Not with him you’re not,” Parker cut me off. “You and your safety come first. Alex knows nothing about that.”
“Well, I do,” I asserted, finding the courage to speak for myself. “This isn’t about you two anymore, I get to make my choices. I get to live my life how I want it.”
“He’s dangerous—”
“He’s not, Park. He’s the other half of the story that people forget. I get to assess both sides, I get to see what works for me.”
Camilla scoffed, “You should be careful, or you’ll be the next mystery girl Alex is in court for, the next big scandal.” She snaked her arm around Parker’s bicep, alerting him to an uncomfortable look.
My ears began to ring.
“You will stop right now, Mila.” Parker reprimanded her as I stepped forward, guarding Alejandro behind my back. This was it. I was so clearly on the other end of some imaginary line, belonging to some team that felt wrong in Parker’s eyes.
“Why are you still here?” I spat at Camilla, feeling defensive for my best friend. “You’re not here for Parker, you don’t even care about him. Not like how someone should. You’re just using us for one of your pathetic articles.”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” Camilla’s red lips parted with a hiss. “Your life’s suitable for some trashy magazine, but not for New York Prestige.”
“That’s enough, Mila,” Parker flinched.
“It’s true,” she defended. “They’re perfect for each other… both fucked up and damaged.”
“Fuck you,” I lifted my drink, throwing it as hard as I could into her face. It splashed everywhere, garnering a collective gasp as Camilla shrilled from the top of her lungs. Perfect black tears of mascara and vodka rolled down her cheeks, as my face burned with shame.
“Gemma!” Parker shouted.
“Watch your fucking mouth,” Alejandro warned, his forehead now digging into Parker’s. He came out of nowhere, snapping him back into the most chaotic moment of my life, as I pulled him off.
“Gemma, please… I need you to trust me,” Parker choked, thinking of a defense, an excuse, some reason beyond everything I assumed he wish he could say but didn’t. He reached for me, actually taking my hand into his as Camilla watched, her disbelief as scorching as Parker’s touch as he pressed his thumb into my palm, delivering some desperate pressure to be felt.
Where have you been? I wanted to ask.
This wasn’t us, this wasn’t who we grew up to be, and all I could feel was the burn behind my eyes as he opened his mouth.
But nothing came out.
Just silence.
I waited, feeling everything, our bodies connected by the tips of our fingers, hopelessly electric.
“I need you to trust me, too,” I finally exhaled, blowing out my one true wish, my words meeting his ears like the tips of birthday candles. In the past weeks, we’d been nothing but nasty to each other, slinging whatever stone and silent pout we could, but now, honestly, I just wanted to pull him into my arms, win or lose, I wanted to keep him, but I needed to walk away.This isn’t just for you, Parker, this is for us.
“I don’t want to do this,” he gritted, “I just—”
“I want to make my own choices,” I stopped him. “Everyone is always warning me, telling me what to do, how to feel. But I want to decide that for myself… no matter how unconventional it may be for others, or for you. It’s my choice, my conflict to navigate, not for you to protect me from, because I need to learn to fall before I can get back up. And trust me, I know that you care, but tonight I need you to care less.”
