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“Tonight was nothing… and you’re not a psycho. We are allowed to have feelings and insecurities. You should have just asked him, he’s a very open man. But if you won’t, then I guess I’ll just tell you myself.” I chewed a little harder with what I was about to admit. “Back in college I told Parker I had feelings for him. I thought what you thought; I was absolutely certain he liked me too, but it wasn’t true. He was nice about it, but the rejection stung. Bad.”
The room would have been silent, had my heart not been pounding in my ears.
“He rejected you?” she asked a little too hopefully, finally lifting the fork to take a reluctant scoop of pie. “What did he say?”
“That…” I paused, then recited the words that still killed me to admit out loud, “I was like a sister to him.”
If I believed for a second that we were on any type of friendly terms, this was it, the way her face lit up, her open mouth matching the size of her pupils, like she was enriched with the holiest of gossip.
“Sister?”
I nodded.
She took a quick bite before grimacing. “What a jerk!” Her statement made me snort. She was actually just as appalled as I was, both of us now concealing our laughs.
“I know! I was mortified, still am actually,” I admitted, sheepishly toying with the sugary red filling. “But he made it clear that there was nothing between us, at least, nothing you have to worry about.” I was good at pretending to be casual, but saying it out loud was as painful as it was humiliating. For a second, I was reliving the horror of that night, attempting to brush it off as if it were nothing, but my desire to make Camilla feel better suddenly had the opposite effect on me. Honestly, it hurt like a reopened wound.
“Relationships are weird. They can make you think and act in ways you never knew were possible, or worse, worry about issues that never existed.”
“You’re not wrong,” I rested my fork along the tin. “And for that reason, I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have thrown that drink at you, Camilla. What I did was unacceptable, gross, and shouldn’t have ever happened. I’m really sorry,” I said, reeling from my confession, but adamant about setting our differences aside. Camilla sat suspiciously quiet, swallowing a rather large piece of pie before nodding.
“At least it was a martini,” she replied with a coy smile. “Can’t say I hated how it tasted.” I covered my mouth as we both held in another laugh, trying our best to be quiet. “Gemma… I’m sorry, too. I let my thoughts get the best of me and that wasn’t fair to you. That’s not me, and I apologize for that. Sincerely.” She slid the tin towards my direction, delivering a truce over pie and a single-worded question, “Friends?”
I took a stab at a loose strawberry, popping it between my lips. “Friends.”
Camilla wasted no time in pulling the tin back, taking hold of the pie that moments ago was resistant to. “Now, if the boys could just be on good terms, then we could redo that night at the bar. A proper double date, with drinks in our hands, not on our dresses.”
“Eh, I wouldn’t hold your breath. Us girls have common sense, but not them. Especially with everything going on.”
“And how is Alex?” she arched an eyebrow. “I know he’s going through a lot, but so are you.”
I remained quiet, shrugging my shoulders. I wanted the appearance that everything was ok, but I was never good at being on the spot. I pulled my phone out, resting it on the counter.
“We had an argument, or at least I think it was an argument.” I stared down at the dark unopened screen. “I needed space, or maybe he did, but since coming here I haven’t checked my phone. I have no idea what’s going on, or if he’s even tried to reach me.”
Camilla cocked her head, “Uh-uh. You just alleviated my own self-doubt, and now you’re going to stop yourself from knowing the truth of what’s on that phone? Let’s find out right now.”
“Andy would disagree with you,” I said under my breath.
I was so clearly stalling.
“Who?”
God… help me.
“Never mind, it’s a joke.”
“Whatever, just turn the phone on! The truth is the truth, and it’s better than letting your mind come to its own conclusions.”
I tapped my teeth with the tip of my nails, quietly contemplating if it was even the right thing to do. Camilla was totally right; my hypocritical actions were now hurting me more than helping me. “I know. I suppose you have a point,” I answered, hesitantly reaching for the power button. Maybe she was just the edge I needed, the push to do what I was afraid to do. With all the spontaneous effort I could muster, I decided to just turn it on. Quick. Decisive. Done. I looked away as the screen began to load.
“Well?” Camilla eagerly leaned closer. “It’s on!”
I frantically swiped at my screen, my apps appearing like a burst as I cradled the phone in my hand. I dropped it between us on the counter, showing everything we needed to know in a flash.
There was nothing.
My air fell out in a sigh as I opened my texts, showing only the previous messages I sent before.
