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Sliding onto a chair, I said, “Want to talk about it?”
“Yes… no. Fuck, I don’t know, Holden. It’s not that easy.”
“Try,” I said, sensing he needed this.
“Dad left when I was like seven or eight.” He gave me a small dismissive half-shrug. As if it didn’t matter. As if he was supposed to be over it. But I knew better than most that it didn’t work that way.
Time didn’t heal things, it only patched over the gaping holes. The cuts and bruises. Held them together with jagged edges and shaky stitches and fake smiles.
“He couldn’t deal with Mom anymore. Her obsession with always looking perfect. The way she’d drop everything for a job opportunity. Aurora was just a little kid, and she didn’t understand. But I did. We were nothing more than a burden. A responsibility she never wanted.”
“What happened after he left?”
“I… shit, man.” He dropped his head, running his hand back and forth over his hair. “I don’t do this. I don’t talk about this. Ever.”
“Maybe it’s time.”
His eyes lifted to mine, hollow and empty. “Like you talk about your family?”
“This isn’t about me right now.”
“No, I guess it’s not.” Silence echoed between us. Then he ran a hand over his jaw, releasing a long steady breath, grounding himself. “So my Dad left, and for a while, it wasn’t so bad. Mom managed to pull herself together. Aurora was barely four. She needed a lot of attention.
“But by the time she turned seven or eight, things started to change. Mom couldn’t look at me without getting upset about Dad abandoning us. She’d get drunk and spew these cruel, hateful things at me. So I started making myself scarce. Hanging out with friends more or down at the rink.”
“And Aurora?” It took everything in me to keep a level head. To not go off at him for checking out on her.
But she was right. I couldn’t fight her battles.
Not this one, at least.
“Mom started taking her to shoots. I always knew Aurora didn’t really want to do it, but she liked making Mom happy. At least, I thought she did.” His jaw clenched. “I didn’t know… fuck.”
“Did you know she had an eating disorder?”
“The fuck?” His eyes widened with disbelief. “How the hell do you know that?”
“It came up.” I shrugged.
“I mean, I knew she got into these cycles of crash dieting and then binge eating. But I thought it was a girl thing. I didn’t think… She really told you that?”
I nodded, guilt crushing my chest. But it was nothing compared to the guilt in Austin’s eyes.
“I ignored all the signs. Told myself she was just shy and awkward and found it hard to make friends. I didn’t think—” He stopped himself, slamming his fist down on the table. “I’m surprised she can even bear to be around me.”
“You’re her brother. Family. That means something.”
“Did she… tell you anything else?”
“You should talk to her.”
“Listen, I owe you, man,” he said. “When I asked you to look out for her, I didn’t expect you and Con to welcome her into the fold without question. Thank you.”
“Any time.” The words almost choked me.
“You know, I was worried there for a second,” he chuckled, “that she might fall for it.”
“It?” I frowned, waiting for the penny to drop.
