Page 248 of Deep Pockets


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“I know. But I’m not doing that anymore. I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t give me a second chance.”

“Because it was more than one time. You had a million chances to tell me the truth. We were engaged, Patrick. If I hadn’t found out, you would still be doing it. And we’d be married.”

“That’s not…” He sighed. “I would have stopped. I have stopped.”

“That’s great. I’m happy for you and your new girlfriend. Hopefully that’ll work out better for you.”

He ran his hand through his hair. “We’re not even serious. It’s not like she’s you.”

“Well, sorry.” I hated him. I hated him for saying he missed me and pretending he cared about how I was doing.

“I miss you,” he said again. “I miss what we had.”

I wiped underneath my eye where a tear had finally escaped. “What we had wasn’t real.”

“That’s not true. You know that’s not true.”

“You really should get back to your girlfriend.”

“Let’s get out of here,” he said, ignoring my comment. “Maybe we can walk through Central Park and talk? I know how much you love that.”

I wanted to slap him. He never offered to go to Central Park with me when we were actually together. “No. I told you, I’m here with someone. We’ve already talked about all of this. It is what it is. We don’t have anything else to talk about.”

“I think we do. You don’t seem fine, Bee. And I’m not fine either. You’re all that I think about. You’re my other half.”

“Give me a break. You’re so full of shit.”

He grabbed my wrist. “Let’s just go somewhere quiet to talk. You can see my new place…”

“You have a girlfriend. What is wrong with you?” I pulled my wrist out of his grip.

“Fine, I’ll go break up with her first. Would that make you feel better?”

“No. It would make me feel better if you stopped talking to me. I don’t want to be having this conversation. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“Come on, Bee. I still think we can work this out.”

“We can’t.”

“You keep saying that. But you’re not really telling me why.”

“Do you remember when we first moved here? And how nervous I was? It was so different from what I was used to.”

“Yeah. I do.”

“And remember what you said to me? You said that when you were with me, you felt like you were home. That meant the world to me. And then you promised me that the city wouldn’t get in our way. You promised.”

“And I said I was sorry. I’m different now.”

“I know. I’m very aware of that. Because the guy I fell in love with promised me he wasn’t going to run off. He said he loved me with everything that he was. And he said he’d never leave me.” I was crying now. I hated remembering how sweet he was. Because I didn’t understand how that person had disappeared. It felt good to finally get that off my chest. It wasn’t just about the cheating. It was about breaking his promises. That almost stung more. I might have been able to forgive the cheating. But I couldn’t forget his broken promises.

“I didn’t leave you, Bee. You kicked me out.”

“Because you cheated on me. And when I found out, I realized that your promises were all empty. And I don’t trust you. I’ll never trust you again.”

“Bee?” I felt Mason’s hand touch the small of my back. “Is everything okay over here?”

I rubbed my eyes with my palms to remove my tears. “Yes. Patrick was just leaving.”

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