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“Thanks, but no thanks.” I didn’t want his handouts. He had more money than he knew what to do with. And I was going to get there too. Without anyone’s help. “I’m more just waiting for the right account. It needs to be something big if I’m going to quit my job.” But it wasn’t just the account. I was used to living a certain way. And the money I had from my parents was running out. Just thinking about it made me feel like I was drowning. I didn’t want to have to crawl back to my parents. Time was running out and all I was doing recently was hanging out with Bee. What is wrong with me?
“Remember that time you convinced that kid at camp that chocolate was poisonous and he threw it all out?”
I laughed. “Yeah. We got to have s’mores every night for the rest of camp.”
“You can convince anyone to do anything. You’ve got this.”
“Yeah.” But my mind wasn’t on my business. It was on Bee. I was starting to think I wanted her more than I wanted to start my own company.
James pulled an envelope out of his coat pocket. “Here.”
“I don’t want your money.”
“It’s not a check.”
I took the envelope and opened it up. It was a list of companies with contact info for their C.E.O.’s or lead marketing executives. I looked up at him.
“Some companies I work with that could use fresh ad ideas,” James said.
“I can’t…”
“Honestly, it would help me too. I own stake in some of them. Use me as a reference when you call them.”
For some reason this handout didn’t make me feel like shit. He was doing it because he knew I could help. And we had been friends our whole lives. This was better than a check. With one big client, I wouldn’t need my side business anymore. I already felt less stressed.
“Thanks, man.”
“You’re doing me the favor.” He smiled and looked out the window of the car.
I wasn’t really. But I was glad he was making me feel that way. “I’m glad you’re back.”
James laughed. “Don’t get all sentimental on me.”
“Seriously. The city wasn’t the same without you.” James and I had lost touch after college. He had gotten married to that bitchy ex-wife of his and completely cut me out. Or maybe I just hadn’t tried hard enough to stay friends. James had been different when he was with Isabella. Like he was in some weird trance. Maybe he had just been depressed. If I had known more maybe I would have tried to help him. I had heard rumors about him falling off the wagon. But those were just rumors. Besides, now that he had found Penny, it was like we were kids again. He was back to his old self. And I liked Penny. She could hang out with all of us and hold her own. And she was the best at bringing out James’ fun side. Mr. and Mrs. Hunter were the ones missing out, not Penny.
James shrugged. “I was always going to come back. I just needed a break.”
“Yeah. Look, I don’t actually want Penny to be mad at me. I’ll text her Bee’s number.”
“I was hoping you’d say that. So, if you want to do a double date…”
“Don’t push it.”
James laughed. “I told her I’d try.”
“How did you know with Penny?”
“How did I know what?”
“That it was more than just sex? That you wanted more?”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Even before we had sex. She suddenly became all that mattered. It wasn’t that I wanted more. I needed more.”
I looked out the window. Bee was sweet and innocent and beautiful. And I was me. I wasn’t the type of guy that a girl like Bee would date. No one would ever get serious with me. But I could feel myself being consumed by her. Wanting and needing seemed like a fine line. I couldn’t cross that. I wasn’t even sure I knew how.
“I think Bee’s great,” James said.
“I know.” I leaned my head back against the seat. “She deserves someone a hell of a lot better than me. I don’t even know what the fuck I’m doing. I like my life. I like being single. Maybe Rob is right. I’m losing my mind.”
