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“Like I’d tell you? You’re lucky I’m not kneeing you in the balls right now. I will take these, though.” She grabbed the roses out of my hand.
“Can you tell her I’m looking for her? I already tried calling and she’s not answering.”
“Maybe you should take the hint, Mason. Just leave her alone.”
“I can’t leave her alone. I’m in love with her.”
Kendra just stared at me. “She didn’t grow up here like you and me. She needs a nice, normal, suburban guy.”
Like Patrick? You’ve got to be kidding me. “She does belong here. She belongs with me.” I grabbed the roses back out of Kendra’s hand. “And you better get used to me, because I’m not going anywhere.”
“Well, I do admire your persistence.” She folded her arms across her chest.
“So are you going to tell her I was here?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Are you going to tell me where she is?”
“I’d tell you if I knew. She just came and dropped her stuff off. She was a mess. And she wouldn’t talk to me about it.” She lowered her eyebrows slightly. “At least she talked to me about what happened with Patrick. Whatever you did, I think it hurt her even more.”
Bee was more upset about our fight than when she broke it off with Patrick? Maybe she was over him. Maybe she really did love me.
Before I could ask any more questions, Kendra slammed the door in my face. I looked down at the roses in my hand. Telling the truth probably was better than some grand gesture. But James didn’t know what I had done. A grand gesture might be a better tactic.
Chapter Sixty-Three
Bee
I stepped off the bus and pulled on my hat and gloves. The city had felt cold because I was alone. That’s why I had thought it seemed so much colder than back in Wilmington. I had never been alone at home. I had my mom and my friends. And then I had Patrick. Love somehow created this internal heat so I never noticed the wind biting at my cheeks. But I was cold now, colder than I’d ever been. I pulled my coat tighter around myself.
With each step I had taken away from Mason’s apartment earlier, I had to will myself to keep going. All I wanted to do was run back to him and tell him that I was sorry. That I wanted to work through our fight. I knew that he hadn’t read through my notebook with the intention of stealing my ideas. He had just been looking for a sheet of paper to leave me a sweet note. He was a good guy, no matter how bad he said he was. But he didn’t seem to want to be the man that I saw. He reverted so quickly back to his old ways as soon as things got hard.
My feet crunched in the snow on the sidewalk. I would have followed Mason anywhere. Just like I had followed Patrick to New York? I shook the thought away. I fell too hard, too fast. I hadn’t learned from my mistakes. I fell for another jerk. And I loved him. I loved him so much.
But the truth was, Mason didn’t feel that way about me. I had told him I loved him and he told me I was easy, like every other girl he had ever met. And maybe I was. Mason was only the second person I had ever slept with, but I jumped into bed with him. I didn’t hesitate at all. I fell for his smooth talking and dirty mouth. God his mouth…
Stop it! I was done. I was done with love. And for the moment I was done with New York. I needed to feel like I could breathe again. I thought coming back would make me feel better. But it was just as cold here as it was in New York. Maybe even colder. Because tonight I felt so alone, like a piece of me was missing.
It wasn’t too late to go back. I could still tell Mason that I was sorry for jumping to conclusions and for not hearing him out. I walked up the front steps and stopped outside of the door. But I couldn’t swallow my pride this time. Mason didn’t want me anymore. I didn’t want to give up on what we had, but I didn’t see any other option. He doesn’t want you. He never did. All he had to do was tell me to stay, like he had the other night. But now that made sense too. He was guilty and could barely even face me. That’s why it looked like he was worried about losing me. He just wanted a few more nights with me. For my body. Because that’s all it ever was.
I knocked on the door and tried to stop the tears from coming.
A minute later my mom opened the door. “Bee? Bee what are you doing here?”
I was never good at controlling my emotions. Just seeing my mom made me feel like I was back in grade school. “Mom,” I said, choking through a sob.
“Oh, sweetie.” She pulled me into the house. It was warm inside. But I was still cold. Even when she wrapped her arms around me I still shivered.
“I keep making the same mistakes,” I said into her shoulder.
My mom laughed. “I’m guessing this is about Mason?” She patted my back and released me from her hug. “Come in and sit. Did you want something to drink?”
That was always my mom’s go to thing for house guests. Making sure they weren’t parched. I didn’t need a cup of hot tea, though. I needed a serving tray full of shots. “I’m okay.”
“You don’t seem okay,” she said as she sat down and gestured for me to sit beside her.
I sat down and pulled off my gloves. “After what happened with Patrick I told myself I needed to take things slow. To take the time to see if a guy was worth my time.”
