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Did the Baba Yagas get peckish off stage?
Instead of kicking up their legs like before, the Rockettes/Baba Yagas launch into the famous Russian Cossack dance—the one with lots of squats and leg thrusts.
For elderly witches, they’re incredibly athletic.
From here, the show gets even weirder. There are Cirque du Soleil-style acrobats dressed like Teletubbies, jugglers pretending to be bears, a clown straight out of Stephen King’s worst nightmares, and a Baba Yaga on a unicycle for the finale.
When it’s done, everyone begins to clap, and I join in.
“Ladies and Germs,” the singer dude says after the ovation, sweat beading on his brow. “I want to see you on the dance floor.” And just like that, he starts butchering Madonna’s Like a Virgin.
“What did you think of the show?” Natasha asks me, beaming with pride.
Did she choreograph it? “It was… very interesting.”
“I am glad to hear it,” she says. “We had to simplify it for the American audience.”
Simplify? The original must’ve been the equivalent of an LSD overdose.
“Ask the lady to dance.” Bella gives Vlad an exasperated glare. “You’re making the family look bad.”
“Yeah, bro,” Alex says. “Dance.”
Smiling with his eyes, Vlad stands up and extends a hand to me, Prince Charming style. “May I have this dance?”
I leap to my feet before my brain can even think about vetoing this questionable idea.
With a knowing smirk, Bella rushes to the stage and yells something to the singer dude in Russian.
He nods.
The music changes once more to a slower song I don’t recognize.
Vlad takes my hands like a professional ballroom dancer.
Heat spreads through my whole body from his touch—as though I have vodka for blood.
He pulls me closer.
I swallow my heart back into my chest.
We start to slowly sway to the music.
Can you have a heart attack from being too turned on?
“Bésame,” the pudgy dude sings, and for the first time, I feel like he’s in his element. “Bésame mucho.”
Why, oh why, did I ever learn Spanish? That’s “kiss me a lot”—which is exactly what I want Vlad to do to me.
Around us, some of the 1000 Devils’ staff get the same idea. People are making out left and right. Hopefully, they’re each other’s significant others, and not, like in our case, bosses and their subordinates once removed.
Vlad leans down.
I shouldn’t kiss him.
But I really want to.
But I mustn’t.
