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“Of course, Venus,” Vlad says and extends a hand in greeting to my dad. “Mr. Pack, it’s great to meet you as well.”
“Call me Wolf,” Dad says, and it’s clear he’s also impressed by Vlad, though unlike Mom, he doesn’t look like he’s about to jump him, cougar style.
My embarrassment eases slightly.
Time for payback.
“You heard that right,” I tell Vlad. “He’s a one-man Wolf Pack, like that guy in The Hangover. Grandparents named him that as a prank, and these two played an even worse prank on me.”
“Great to meet you, Wolf,” Vlad says, showing no sign that he heard what I said.
In general, he’s handling this much, much better than I would’ve if his parents had barged in on us.
Mom beams at Vlad. “We came to drag Fanny to lunch. Would you like to join us?”
“I’d love to,” Vlad says without hesitation.
Wait, what is this now? Lunch with my parents and Vlad? We’re not at the “meeting the parents” stage.
We’re still in the limbo stage.
Then again, I kind of met his too.
Could we do this any more backward?
“What kind of food do you like?” Dad asks Vlad.
“I’m not picky,” he replies.
Dad proposes a laundry list of cuisines, and he and Mom debate where they want to go as though Vlad and I are not even in the room. As they go on, I sneak a glance at Vlad’s poker face.
I have no idea what he’s thinking about the two intruders.
Mom and Dad were the first people I tested my app on. My code determined that Mom looks like Princess Fiona from Shrek, but, spoiler alert, after she turns permanently into an ogre. Dad matched with Garfield—and that might be why Monkey is absolutely terrified of him.
“What do you think of sushi?” Mom asks Vlad.
He places a hand on my shoulder. “I go where Fanny goes.”
Spying the hand, Mom exchanges a knowing glance with Dad. “The food Fanny likes is too plain.”
“Hey, I eat sushi,” I say, trying and failing not to sound indignant.
Mom chuckles. “In Japan, they serve California rolls in the American food restaurants, along with burgers.”
I narrow my eyes. “I get other stuff too. How about we go, and I’ll let you order for me?”
Mom claps her hands in excitement, and I herd everyone out of the apartment.
My phone pings.
I sneak a peek at it.
It’s a text from Vlad:
Want to take the limo, or walk to a great little place nearby?
Did he type that in his pocket?
