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Normally, I was the one grabbing dresses off the racks and throwing them in my friends’ unwilling arms, but today, I trailed behind. I might be able to suffer through window shopping, but I didn’t have to enjoy it. The thought of spending money at the moment made me panic.
I knew I needed to be looking for another job. I just couldn’t get myself to do much of anything. I was mourning the career I’d always thought I would have.
“This one,” Emery said, tossing the dress to me.
I reached out and caught it before the silky material could fall to the ground. I looked at the dusty-rose satin slip dress that Emery had handed to me. It was stunning. My color and long enough for my build, too.
“Where the hell would I wear this?” I held it up for both girls to examine.
They wore matching grins.
“Oh no. Is there a bigger plot happening here?”
“Just try it on,” Emery encouraged.
“You’ll look so hot in that!” Julia said. “I’m going to go with something black, of course. But pink? Man, no one can pull off pink like you. With that long blonde hair and those bright blue eyes.”
“Whoa,” Emery said, putting her hand out. “Stop moving in on my woman.”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed. It was the first time since I’d left work that I’d done anything other than frown or cry. It felt…nice.
“Success!” Julia said.
“I knew shopping would work,” Emery agreed.
Then, they gathered me up and hurried me to the dressing room. Their arms were full of almost exclusively black apparel…and I had one dress. I wasn’t sure if they thought I’d bolt if we took too long to look or what. They seemed anxious to get me healthy. To see my smile and hope that I would turn back into the bubbly friend they were used to. I just…wasn’t sure I would be able to do that. Not yet at least.
Still, I humored them. I slid the sleek material over my head and down my narrow hips. It cut low in the front and had a relatively high slit up the right side. When I stepped out of the dressing room, I was shocked to see the transformation. The girls were right. This was my color.
“Oh my God,” Emery muttered. “It’s not even fair. Your genetics are unreal. Why were you given all the good genes? You’re as bad as Kimber.”
I laughed. Emery’s sister, Kimber, had been prom queen in high school, and they were night and day in appearance. I looked more like Kimber than Emery ever had. In fact, in high school, it had felt more like the three of us were siblings, and I wasn’t an only child.
“You have to get it,” Julia said as soon as she stepped out of the room.
“I have nowhere to wear it, and I’m sure I can’t afford it.”
“Look,” Emery said with a sigh, leaning against the three-way mirror. “We’re all really worried about you. I know how much this job meant to you.”
“I really don’t think that you do.”
“Heidi, I’ve known you my whole life. I know that you have wanted to succeed in this forever.”
I shook my head. “You don’t know everything, Em.”
“What? What don’t I know?”
“My dad,” I choked out. “My dad used my college funds.”
“He used your…” Her mouth hung open. “Oh. Oh God.”
“What?” Julia asked. “What am I missing?”
“He used my college funds on drugs and shackled me with student loan debt and then some,” I spat angrily. “So, I needed the job more than anyone even knew. And, now, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“Heidi, I’m sorry,” Emery said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I was handling it,” I said with a sigh. “And now…now, I’m not.”
